Sunday, 31 December 2006

Happy New Year




Saturday, 30 December 2006

Ramblings of a semi drunk person.

Its been a tough couple of days. A desition was made yesterday that was my of making, and it was right, but it broke my heart in two. I spent most of yesterday crying, but I know its right, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I've found like I'm a Jeckell and Hyde charictor. I'm very bright and up some moments, but I have a very very dark side. I never seem to be a happy medium, I'm eaither very happy or very depressed. I sometimes feel like I'm the life and sole of the party, but I'm dying of loneliness on the inside. What I really want I cant have, and it kills me.

Thursday, 28 December 2006

Festive Cold

Well fucking ho ho ho! I wake up on christmas morning with the mother of a sore throat. Great a christmas cold. It didn't ruin the day though, it was really fun being with the family, and I enjoyed cooking dinner for everyone. I got frightfully drunk though!!

Boxing day I went to Antony's sister's house for some nibbles. It was good round there as I got to play with they're kids toys, and that infuriating Buzz game, which I lost. We went for drinks down the Riverside in the evening, it was fucking dead though, I think the poor old queens couldn't handle another night out. I think we are going there on new years eve. They are having a punk goes camp evening. Now I know the DJ very well ( not that well though!! ) and he told me its going to be cheesy camp tunes mixed with Mcfly and Green Day stuff. Sounds like fun to me.

I've done fuck all the rest of the week, as this cold has been pissing me off, I'm sure I've got manfluenza! 

Sunday, 24 December 2006

Christmas Eve

I'm feeling particulaly festive this year for some reason. I think its because I've actually got some proper time off as opposed to the ( think yourself gratefull! ) 2 days that we used to get a Safeways. It was good aswell this year not to be in the retail buisness and have to work like a trooper for the whole of December. Saying that, I've have taken a huge amount of stuff out this week, with one place having 81 box's, which is a lot when the average is about 5 per school, so I've done my graft this week.

Friday night we had our christmas party at a hotel in Maidstone. It was a great night out, but I was a little apprehensive first off and I really dont know why, thats very unlike me. The meal was loverly, but I have to say that it wasn't enough for me, I could have eaten it all again. Now I know that makes me sound like a fat bloater but I can assure you that I'm still under 12 stone and in a size 32 trouser witha belt thank you very much!!!  I got pleasently drunk, but was in total control of what I was doing and remember everything, which is suprising concidering how much brandy I had drunk. The funniest part was the last slow dance when it started with me dancing with Jane and Julia dancing with Gavin, then Gavin and me swapped partners, then we swapped again mid song so Julia and Jane were slow dancing together and so were Gavin and Me!!  I'm sure everyone else at work think that there is some strange bi sexual swapping going was well worth the looks on they're faces and it will keep the gossip machine going for a few months.

I finished off all my christmas shopping yesterday with the hangover from hell no helping one bit. It was a bastard nightmare and I gave up in the end and came home. I got Antony something, but I was going to get some little bits for his neice and nephew, and i really didn't have a clue, so I just cuddled up with the dogs in front of the fire wit the dogs and watched The Muppet Christmas Carol..great film.

Today I've got to go and see my Dad, which is something I always love doing ( NOT! ) and I'm going to pop and see my Nan and Craig and Bridget. I'm not going to drink today either, as I dont want to feel ill tomorrow and ruin my dinner, which I have to cook. All the family are going to my sister's so it will be a good family day...I'm really looking forward to it.

I doubt I will post tomorrow so I will do this now. 

I hope you all have a really good and peacefull christmas and that Santa comes and empties his sack for you!!!



Sunday, 17 December 2006

Back to work

Thank you for all you messages on my birthday, I love you all! The day went really well. Antony and me went into London and hit the West End bars with gay abandon. I dont remember much but I do remember getting amazingly drunk and sleeping on the train on the way home and nearly missing my stop.

We didn't do much on Thursday as we were both to hungover. I've not done much for the rest of the week actually, just chilled out a lot. I'm back to work in the morning, I dont know how much work I've got to do, so I'm setting a bet with myself about how pissed off I will be at 8.15 tomorrow morning. 1 will be good, 10 will be steaming.

I've only got this week, then I've got christmas and New Year off, so it wont be that bad. I've got to wrap my prezzies up and write the cards yet. I've still got to get something for Antony and his parents ( who I love ) and shit. I'm going down to his sisters with his parents and him on boxing day. I'm really looking forward to it.

Remember " Some days your the pigeon , some days your the statue "

Wednesday, 13 December 2006

Happy Birthday to me!!

Well I'm now 34 and I dont feel a day over 40!! Ha Ha. No seriously. I've not felt this well for ages, physically and mentally, and my weight is 11stone 10, which is even better than I thought. Everything was good at the hospital yesterday, the results were good and everything seemd to have stabalised after being i'll a couple of months ago.

I'm just getting ready to go out today, wish the weather was better though. Its very cloudy and looks like rain..oh well

Monday, 11 December 2006

Janes Birthday

Well, I spent most of Saturday with Antony doing stuff ( shopping!! ) then we went into Maidstone for a few sherberts in town, then onto Janes birthday bash. It was a good night with a live band playing. I dont know what they were called and to be honest I cant remember what they played, but they were ok. I got quite drunk ( as did Antony! ) but thankfully I didn't feel as shitty as him the day after. I dont think I made to much of a twat of myself, could be wrong though!!

I'm on holiday this week, mainly because its my birthday on Wednesday and I've never had it off before ( i'm still talking about my birthday! ) We are going into London for the day I think, have a bit of dinner and a few drinks. Should be good.

I've got hospital in the morning. This is the first time I've been back since I was ill the other month. I've kept my weight down, I'm about smack on 12 stone and I've not looked or felt this good in ages. I hope he dont piss on my bonfire tomorrow! Ha Ha

Tuesday, 5 December 2006

Rough crossings

Craig, Bridget and me went on a little sorte over to France on the ferry on Saturday, and the crossing was fucking rough!! Big waves, and I thought I was going to honk up at one point, but thankfully I didn't. We went to the City de Europe and hit duty free shopping with a vengence. I brought home a load of beer and wine for christmas, at a fraction of the price we pay for it over here...Taxed to death we are!!

On Sunday I went for a drive to London with Antony, and we had a loverly Sunday roast in a bar overlooking the Thames and St Pauls Cathedral. It was great apart from some fucking drunk camp queen that liked the sound of his own voice. He was making my shit itch, and I kept throwing the tables funny looks, bad of me I know, but it didn't distract from the good time I had, and loverly meal.

Its been pissing down for the last couple of days, and windy today. It makes working outside so much fun! I've got next week off holiday, mainly for my birthday (its on Wednesday!!) and just to have a little rest. Its Janes borthday on Saturday so we are going out to watch a rock band in her local pub. I'm looking forward to it...should be fun.

Monday, 27 November 2006


Motorhead were the fucking nuts!! This was the 10th time I had seen them, and without a doubt it was the best one. We were right at the front by the barrier, standing infront of the PA system. The first band on was Skew Siskin, who are a female German metal band, they were cool, the second band were calle Clutch..they were shit!..I mean really really shit!!

Motorhead got off to a good start in my books by playing Dr.Rock ( my favorite song! ) first off. The gig cracked   on and it was so so loud! They played some songs off the new album, plus a couple of old album tracks that I've not seen them do before. In the 10 times I've seen them, they've always played a song or two that I've never seen them do before. The added bonus was that Phil Campbell threw a plectrum out into the audiance and I caught it!! I'm so happy!!. It will take pride of place stuck on the edge of the shelf near my bed.

Check out the photo to see just how close I was to the stage!!

Wednesday, 22 November 2006

And another

Well with me and chipin' me and kisses?
Not the man in my life I know
And I been going to mystery misses
I respect the art of the show
Take back whan you said little girl
And while you're at it take yourself back too

You don't seem to come around
Point your finger and make a sound
You don't seem to come around
Not since I said you knocked it down?
Oh, well

But how come it's so easy to you
You know it's like me at times I can be careless
But your words seem so obtuse
But then again I know you feel guilty
And you tell me you want me again
But I don't need any of your pity
I got plenty of my own friends


Not that I'm bitter or anything, just getting a few things off my chest.


You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid and turned it blue

Something's better than nothing
Something's better than nothing, it's givin' up!
Gotta make up for something
Try getting the truth from showing up

How dare you?
How are you now anyway?
How dare you?
How are you now anyway?

How dare you?
How are you now anyway?

You were given a flower
But I guess there was just no pleasing you
Your lip tastes sour
But you think that it's me just teasing you

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid and turned it blue


Right, I'm not going to piss and moan to much. ( yeah right! ) Things have been going ok, the tablets are working but making go for a piss 2 or 3 times a night which is a fuck off, but whatever.

Work is going ok. They sometimes expect me to deliver to much, which isnt helped by the 2 main people that plan what goes out, dont drive and haven't got a fucking clue where any of these places are. Wiggy just shrugs her shoulders and walks away when I say something or does this silly nervous laugh. Im trying not to bag on her to much, and since I was i'll we have got on better, but she can sometimes be a shit stirring buck passing cunt who cant admit when she's fucked up!

I managed to blag some new boots, gloves and waterproof coat out of the company. I'm working on a new van, its coming but I'm worried that the one we have now is going to rust to peices before we get it.

Friday night I'm off to see Motorhead at Folkstone Leas Cliff Halls. The place is tiny so no matter where you are you can see them. This is the third year I've seen them there. If I can get the tickets, I'm going to try and get tickets to see them at Brixton in London on Saturday night. Can my ears handle two nights of it? We'll see.

Did I say I wasn't going to piss and moan?..guess I was

Tuesday, 14 November 2006

Dedicated to......

I hope you're feeling happy now
I see you feel no pain at all it seems
I wonder what you're doin' now
I wonder if you think of me at all
Do you still play the same moves now
Or are those special moods
For someone else
I hope you're feeling happy now

Just because you feel good
Doesn't make you right
Just because you feel good
Still want you here tonight

Does laughter still discover you
I see through all the smiles

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That look so right
Do you still have the same friends now
To smoke away your problems and your life
Oh how do you remember
Me the one that made
you laugh until you cried
I hope you're feeling happy now

Just because you feel good
Doesn't make you right
Just because you feel good
Still want you here tonight

I wonder what you're donig now
I hope you're feeling happy now
I hope you're feeling happy now

Monday, 13 November 2006


I hate Mondays, always have. I hate Wedesdays more as it means you've already done two days at work but still have two more to do.

Anyway, Saturday night I went to see a Thin Lizzy tribute act up the Beacon Court. Fucking good they were to.They are the only ones that the real Thin Lizzy have seen and approve of. They were good and loud and the whole place was really rocking. They played Still in Love With You and I had a little tear in my eye ( and I was sober!! ) Definatly one of the best cover bands I've seen. Them and Deeply Purple.

I spent most of yesterday clearing up dog sick and shit. Poor Ozzy had a really bad tummy he had the shits really badly..poor little sausage, I didn't know what to do to help him, so I just cuddled him all day.

I'm going to have a fairly quiet weekend this week, then next Friday night its Motorhead at folkstone. I wasn't going to stand at the front infront of the P.A. again, but I think I shall..haha

Tuesday, 7 November 2006


My super duper 36 inch nicam telly that i got just over a year ago decided to go belly up a little while ago. Its only the switch, but I couldn't be fucked to get it fixed, soooooooooooo I decided to get myself an early christmas present and I brought a 26 inch flat screen HD ready telly to replace it. Its very stylish and I'm pleased with it.

The atmosphere between workers and management is still sucking huge donkey bollocks at work. Well, its not all the management, just Helen, who sometimes can be so obnoxious and up her own cunt its scary. I think to be honest she is worried that the company is going to go belly up, but what it really needs is her to pull her finger out of her arse and accually have a look at what is going on and sort it out, rather than coming in and faffing about then fucking off.

Saying that she is a Cliff Richard fan..says it all!

Sunday, 5 November 2006

What the Chuff?

I'm better now. I've still not got the results of the ultra sound ,but the swelling has gone down and I'm eating properly again. The new tablets are working well so it seems and i'm looking a lot better.

Things are a miss at work with a new contract that's being thrown about, and a few things that are a miss in it. I've been doing some digging around on my old union website and have come up with some good things. Information for everyone here " A contract is binding by both parties. This means it is unlawful to for one party to vary the terms and conditions in the contract without the agreement of the other " So remember that if they try anything funny!!

Saturday, 21 October 2006

About time

About time I did a new entry. Things have been busy and I got a really bad cold the other week. That turned into a chest infection which has since shown up a much bigger problem.

It appears that one of my tablets has had a really bad reaction to my liver and its caused it to swell up, which in turn has caused swelling on my stomach which in turn has affected my eating and breathing. The doctor has taken me off of my tablets for the time being to flush my liver out, and today I started a whole new rejeme of them. Its a bummer as my tablets were working well with my counts, and I've got to start all over again with this new lot.

I've got to go back to hospital on Monday to get a set of results from this week. They are testing for glandular fever and a few other things aswell.

I've got to go for an ultra sound scan on Wednesday to have a deeper look inside, just to make sure nothing more sinister is going on. They are checking for galstones, cancer? bleeds etc.

I'm a bit worried, but I'll get through it.

Thursday, 21 September 2006


I went to the hospital Tuesday to get my latest results, and I'm pleased to say that the doctor has told me tyhat these are the best set of results that I've had in 3 years. I'm well impressed. This is the healthiest I've been ever in my life, everything is working fine for a change.

Monday, 18 September 2006

Who's Who?

My friend Ian and me went to see a band called Who's Who on Friday night.They are a tribute band to The Who and they fucking great!! They played so loudly and the drummer played exactly the same as Keith Moon.I really really enjoyed myself, plus I got stunningly drunk. They played all the hits, plus so stuff from Tommy and Quadrophenia.

I didn't do much on Saturday, I just bummed about doing some housework and watching telly. Mystery man came and stayed with me for the night, which was great.

Sunday was much the same really, its getting near to pay day, so funds are a little tight at the moment, but as it was a sunny day, I took the dogs to a special park which is just open fields that they can run free in. Its really pieceful there aswell, and its a great place to relax and think.

Today was a hard day at work. I did 316 miles today, got stuck in loads of traffic ( soem twat jumped off a bridge on the motorway ) but I got through it all. I found out that Wiggy is being moved from her all important desk to a less important one, which is why she was sucha cunt last week. I've not forgotten time will come.

Wednesday, 13 September 2006

Thunder on the Tundra!

Its hot as hell and as sweaty as a rugby players jock strap after a game! Tonight we've had the mother of all storms. The lightning was coming from all directions and the rain was really hammering. I hate storms, but it was something to watch building up.

Work has been ok this week. Lots of little things need doing, and its just getting time to do it all. I've 2 days of big London runs to do before a big run on Monday. Wiggy ( the cunt ) has put something down for Monday that she says has to be there no matter what! I told her I wasn't doing it as I wouldn't have time and she got really really pissed off when I sorted it out and the boss agreed with what was arranged. I really really hate Wiggy, I dont hate people that often, but this woman really makes my shit itch!! We are consantly locking horns, and she's always trying to get me in the shit, but I manage to drop her in it more often than not, that satisfys me a lot. Oh and her new hair o must have been done by Stevie Wonder because it looks fucking awfull.

Bitter? fucking bet I am!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Monday, 11 September 2006

Broken Shitters!!

I sat all nicely last night for a quiet dump and all was well, that was until I filed the paperwork and tried to send it on its way. I flushed away and promptley ripped the shithouse handle off! Oh flush and at that time of the night there was nowhere open to get a new one. I managed to get one today and fit it, and I at last managed to flush away the offending turd! Thank god aswell, the house was starting to hussel up a bit.

I booked some tickets for Motorhead tonight. Im really excited and I didn't expect to go as I cant afford it, but my loverly Mum has paid for them for me..I love

Sunday, 10 September 2006

Quiet Weekend

I've not done much over this weekend really. I stayed at mystery mans the other night, and stupidly I agreed to go clothers shopping with him on Saturday. Never again!!

I've not done a lot today, just rested up and watched some stuff about 9-11 on the telly. It's still shocking to watch it, but I saw a really good documentory about it that was shot by 2 French men who happened to be filming a thing about Ladder1 in NYC at the time it happened. It was amazingly moving.

Thursday and Friday at work were a totally stark contrast to the rest of the week. Infact I think that Thursday was one of the best days of my life that I have worked ever! I was driving through some amazing countryside in loverly weather, and it was really great. I might start taking my digital camera and take some photo's of my trips. I might call it " Life on the Road " I'll get some batterys at it and start next week.

Wednesday, 6 September 2006

Warm Weather and Topless Totty!!

I love the hot weather, there's nothing like driving round with the windows down ( I've got a shitty old van with no aircon ) wind blowing through your hair, and looking at all the topless lads walking down the road...Wonderful!!

I'm not in a pissy mood today, its been a good stress free one. I got my round done easily and looking at the lads cheered me up!

Tonight I went to my monthly Aids meeting. There was the regulars plus 3 new people that came along. They were quiet at first but got into it after a while, and they said at the end that some of the things discussed had helped them. Which is good. One person that went..lets call him A.. has told the same story everytime for the last 5 months, and i swear to god, if I hear it again I will have to selfharm!!

I did find out some really useful information about side effects of the tablets. I now at least know what causes me to be sick when I drink a lot of beer. There's a chemical in pump pulled lagers that has an effect on my Rytonovir. It cause's my bilirubin levels right up, so my liver creates far to much bile and makes me ill. If I have a couple of pints then go onto brandy and coke I'm fine. So that is what I do now.

Sorry if this is digusting, but I've had the shits really badly for the last couple of weeks, this is caused by eating to many dairy products. It makes sense as I've eaten nothing but cheese sandwich's at work for 3 weeks.

Sustiva ( which I used to be taking ) is just evil stuff and should be banned. The side effects are horrific! Suicidal thoughts, extreme behavioral changes and vivid nightmares are just a few. I'm glad I made them take me off of them, they really fucked my head up.

There's loads of other stuff that is all caused by HIV which i get, like dry skin and rash's, aching joints and tiredness, but if you read the whole lot you would kill yourself with depression..buffalo hump...ooooowww!!

I've got 2 days down the coast this week, I've got a big Portsmouth run tomorrow, and a run to Brighton on Friday. Dinner on the seafront then!!


Tuesday, 5 September 2006

Freddie Mercury

I almost forgot. Today would have been Freddie Mercury's 60th birthday, its hard to iamgine that he's been dead 15 years!!



Part Deux!

So today really wasn't any better than yesterday, other than my rental van worked. I encountered every miserable fucking caretaker today, one of them nearly got a a mouthfull off me, he really pissed me off.

My manager ( in her infinate wisdom again ) surgested that I take my car down the van hire firm, so when I take it back I can get my car and go straight home. They decided to keep it another day and have someone help me out. Unfortunatly, she phoned the wrong number and I didn't get the message, so I took the van back only to be told that we were keeping it. She was very sheepish when I got back, especially when I started to moan about my car. I'm supposed to finish at 5, but they didn't take me down there until 10 past, and I didn't get my car until 25 past. I got home just before 6, not a happy camper.

Lets hope tomorrow is better. I dont want to piss and moan in here again!

Monday, 4 September 2006

I've Had An Absolute Cunt Of A Day!

I've had an absolute cunt of a day, to coin a phrase. First off I got a sort of bollocking at work about making a mess the other day in the tea room. The boss knew it was me, I knew it was me, but she couldn't prove it, and I wasn't about to admit to anything. I never admit to anything, unless its good. I reacon somebody grassed me up on Friday evening after I had gone home, and I reacon it came from shit stir corner..It was probably little Hitler, as Wiggy was away, and she is the biggest grass of them all and really fucking hates me. Wiggy by the way has had some highlights put in her hair..its looks like melted ice cream...its fucking rotten, it looks like Stevie Wonder has done it!

Anyway..I digress..after looking sheepish and loading my van up, I jollied off on my route with a little twinkle in my eye ( no im not on drugs ). The day was going well until the battery light comes on the van, and stays on. Oh crap..I'm in north London and the altenator is fucked..great!! I got the last few drops done and made my way back. Its been hot again today and I couldn't have the fan on..i was sweating my bollocks was horrible. I got back and the boss told me to take it to the garage down the road, which I did like a good little boy. It wasn't until I'd walked back that she told me that she had fucked up and I'd taken it to the wrong garage.. ( she's fucking dumb sometimes! ) so I had to go and get it and take it to another garage. They kept ti in and I made her come and pick me up, and there was no way in hell I was going to walk. I dont get paid enough for that. Anyway's, I was late leaving work and caught all the rush hour traffic on the way home.

Bitching aside. On Saturday I did a few jobs round the house and settled in for the evening to watch a few DVD'S. My phone went and mystery person ( come on people think about it!!! ) asked me if I fancied going for a swift pint down the local poof bar. I agreed of course and we met up, realised we didn't like anyone and left. I stayed at his. It was a great evening, and he was great company.

On Sunday I went motor racing with my friend Julia. It was a bit pissy and fucking windy to start with, but the weather changed and it came out hot. I've got a very bizzare wind tan going on at the moment because of it! The racing was really cool, little Mini's, Fiesta's, Ferrari's and some other cars. Only 1 big accident though, but he was ok. I had a great time, I haven't been racing in ages.

See pictures above!!

Lets hope tomorrow doesn't go as belly up as today did

Friday, 1 September 2006


I'm starting to feel like a hypercondriact, either that or I'm just falling apart at the seems.

1. The Aids thing ( my fault I know )

2. Diabetes ( not my fault )

3. The cartaledge is going in my does hurt ( not my fault again )

4. Really bad tinitus in my ears ( my much drums and guitars at stupid volumes. )


See I feel like a right not honestly. Ironicaly, I turn the music up louder because I cant hear it..kind of a vicious circle really.

Not much happened this week, its been a short one with the bank holiday and everything. Next week will be busy at work with the kids going back and everything. Too much to do and not enough time to do it..fuck em, they can wait.


Monday, 28 August 2006

Bank Holidays

I've spent the last 5 nights with the mystery ( well its not if you REALLY think about it ) person. Things are going well and a lot of talking has been done. Saturday evening we went into London and painted the town very red indeed...haha, it pissed hard though, but never mind.

Today I went round my friend Garry's to play some drums in a new studio he's made in his garage. I've not played for months and was well rusty, but after ab out half an hour, it all loosened up and I was sort of back on form. I love playing drums, but with new neighbours and a new baby one side, and a miserable pair of bastards the other side, I cant practice indoors.

It's been a good weekend all in all, lets just hope the rest of the week goes the same way.

Wednesday, 16 August 2006

Good Weekend

I had a good weekend, better than I expected. I'm piss poor until next Wednesday 9 ( When I get paid ) and i haven't the funds to go out. I got an unexpected call on Friday evening , and somebody wanted to come round and stay, I of course said yes. This turned into all day Saturday aswell, which ended up with pizza and a DVD in the evening. He went home Sunday afternoon. It was totally unexpected and it was really really nice.

A suprising but a very nice weekend all in all!!

Thursday, 10 August 2006

Whats Going On?

So what the fuck is going on today? MI5 and the Met police managed to thwart a massive terrorist cell that was going to blow up 9 British flights at the weekend. It turns out that these people were BRITISH muslims!! What the fuck?!

British people killing British and foreign citizans in the name of god. Our own killing our own. Its not the first time its happened of course, it happened last year with the tube and bus bombs, but its just so crazy. It's all done in the name of Allah.

We are used to terrorism because of the I.R.A. We are de-cencorsised to it in a way as it was something that happened regulaly. There's was a political protest, and they at least gave a warning that it was going to happen beofre the bomb went off. I'm by no means saying they were right to bomb, but it's not on the same level as all these plane bombings. That's another thing that piss's me off. When we were getting terrorised, no one really cared that much, infact, most of the money that went into the I.R.A. came from criminals in New York.

I personally think they are all spineless idiots who need to get a damn good grip on reality. I bet they wouldn't do it if some of they're family's were on the plane.

Fucking gutless idiot's...the lot of them.

I now sit and wait to either be kneecapped on my door step or be blow up!

Tuesday, 8 August 2006

Things In Perspective

I saw something today that had quite a profound effect on me. It certainly put a lot of stuff in perspective. I was driving round the shittiest motorway in England ( M25 ) and a lorry rammed a car from behind and pushed it into the central resevation.The car then caught fire and burned very quickly, which in turn set the truck on fire. We saw the truck driver jump from his cab and run away, but it wasn't for a little while that we noticed that we never saw anybody get out of the car. I saw on the news when I got home, that a Mum a dad they're two little children had burned to death in the car. 

It was really shocking and certainly gave me a kick up the arsehole. I realise how lucky I am to just be alive and walking about. We sat for 2 hours whilst the emergency service's attented to the scene. They opened a little emergency gate on the side of the motorway and slowly let some cars and smaller vans of the motorway to carry on our journeys. It only opened up 7 hours after the crash. I was lucky, I was able to get off the motorway, I wasn't a few vehicals in front and involved in the crash....I was lucky I came home tonight....someone has lost a lot of they're family tonight...I'm very lucky

Monday, 7 August 2006

First day back

This was my first day back at work after my 2 weeks off. Its been pissy and raining all day which sort of matched my mood. It wasn't a bad day on the whole, the traffic was quite light which was good, and I managed to dive back home for a longer dinner than is aloud ( somethings never change! )

I'm still upset about things I've done. I mean on a whole, three years ago everything was going well, then I got ill and fucked Lee's life up, and now everything is very confused.I dont know what I want or if I can find it, and do I want to find it???

Saturday, 5 August 2006

Still In Love With You

Think Ill just fall to pieces
If I dont find something else to do
This sadness never ceases
Im still in love with you

My head, it keeps on reeling
Its got me in a crazy spin
Darling, darling, darling
Is this the end?

Still in love with you

They say time has a way of healing
Dries all the tears from your eyes
But darling its this empty feeling
My heart cant disguise

After all that weve been through
I try my best but its no use
I guess Ill keep on loving you
Is this the end?

Now that its all over, woman
Theres something I think you should know
Baby, baby, think it over
Just one more time before you go

Call on me baby
If theres anything I can do for you
Call on me baby
Help me see it through

Im still in love with you

Friday, 4 August 2006

Change of Plan

I've changed my mind about the pics, this is mainly because Antony and me are no more. I'm just going to put up the pics as they are. There are some good pics of The Penines where we found the natural spring and had a drink from it.

Another relationship gone pear shaped. I wont go into the reason, but its a bizzare one. What do I have to do to find love and keep it? I feel very isolated at the moment and very alone. I seem to spend more time by myself than with anyone.

Saturday, 29 July 2006

Back From Holidays

Well Antony and me have just got back from a really wonderful week away in Blackpool. We went to a lot of different towns and theme parks aswell. What I'm going to do is put up little things for each day with the pics. Nothing got taken monday though as I didn't take my camera out...what a twat!.

Its been a really good fun week though, I managed to fuck the last night up by being a knob though. I have great skill at this it seems

Monday, 17 July 2006

Its always the little things in life

Its always the little things in life that can put a little smile on your face. This morning I was driving through Whitechaple in the shithole East End of London, and I was feeling pretty grumpy at the time. Its amazingly hot today and it was worse in London. Anyway's, the phone rings and it was Antony, he had just rung me to tell me he loved me. We had a little chat and talked a bit about our holiday next week. When we finished the call, I was over the moon that I had just spoken to him, and that he was thinking of me. It changed my mood straight away and made me really happy.

Its amazing what a phone call can do!

Friday, 14 July 2006

You Tube.

Has anyone else come across the web site called You Tube? Its fucking great. I've found loads of music videos on there that I have'nt seen. My favorite at the moment is a recent bit of video of Pete Townshend smashing his guitar up at Yokohama stadium. There is also a great video of him and Keith Moon being inteviewed on American breakfast television. Keith is sort of owning up to having troubles, and its so sad. Im a year older than he was when that was filmed, but he looks at least 10 years older than me.

I've had a really good evening tonight. I went to my sisters with the dogs, and my nephew was having a BBQ with some of his friends. I got ( am ) quite pissed up with my sister. Great fun..I loved it

Tuesday, 11 July 2006

No Problems

Works going ok still, the boss lady is letting me get on with things and sort my own routes out and choose what I want to take. They are a great bunch aswell, a really good laugh.

On Saturday, Antony and me went for an all day drinking session in Maidstone. We started at 11.30 am and finished at midnight. We were both really wankered at the end of it though. We met up with Matt and Kelly during the day, and with my mate Rob and his girlfriend. I've not seen Rob since I left Safeways 6 months was good to see him again.

Sunday we went to the natural history museum in London. The place is huge and has some really cool stuff in it. We didn't manage to get round all of it, but seeings as its free, we are going to go back and have a proper look round it. We went to Harrods aswell to have a good look round. We found some caviar that was £2500 ( $5000 ). I would never pay that for a load of fish eggs.

Anyway. 1 week till holiday. We aren't going abroad, but it will be nice just to get away together and have a good time.

I cant wait

Wednesday, 28 June 2006

Nothing Much Happening

Not a lots gone on in the last couple of weeks. Antony has bee working nights, so I've not really seen him, and everyone else has been busy, so I've had a couple of very quiet and boring weekends.

Work is going well. Im starting to get to grips with some of these regular places that I need to go to. Its certainly a lot easier than the old Ocado job.


Monday, 19 June 2006

Gutted beyond belief!!

Dont you just credit it! I had tickets to see The Foo Fighters and Motorhead at Hyde Park on Saturday just gone, but due to the fact Ocado wouldn't let me have the time off, I sold my tickets. So, I leave Ocado and now have the day off, with nothing to do, and no gig tickets. So what did I miss?

1  I miss Motorhead

2  I miss the Foo Fighters

3  I miss Lemmy from Motorhead singing " Shake your Blood " with the Foo Fighters ( its a fucking great rocking song!! )

4  I miss Brian May and Roger Taylor from Queen performing Tie Your Mother Down with the Foo Fighters.

Too say I'm gutted is an understatement!! What a gig that would have been.


Anyway, I started my new job properly today. I was ok, but the traffic is north London was fucking horrendous!! A half hour journey took me 1 hour 50 minutes. I've never seen so many roadworks in my life, and all the shittiest drivers seem to be in London. Arrogant bastards most of them.

Antony has been working hard getting money together, so I've not seen him much. We text and talk on MSN so we can check in with one another. I still love him to bits. He's my little Barney xx

Friday, 9 June 2006


Got the job. I start next Friday. No more working weekends for me!!!!

Wednesday, 7 June 2006

Well Well

Well, yesterday was far from shit. I got an e mail Monday night from a job vacancy website and saw a little job that I fancied. I sent my C.V. through online, and was suprised to get a phone call to attend an interview at my comvenience.

I went this morning to the interview and it does seem like a good little job to me. It's a delivery driving job again, but its Monday to Friday days ( 8-5ish ) and its the same money without all the hassel that goes with my job. No having to be somewhere in a certain hour, and getting shit from customers if your late.

I must have done ok as they have asked me to go in on my day off next week, so I can go out with the current driver to see if I like the job. Sounds very hopefull.

AOL have just upgraded my broadband again. Im now on 7.6MEG.. now that im really happy with!!!

Tuesday, 6 June 2006


                           6 / 6 / 06


So today is the day that satan returns to destroy the world. Well if he comes in the guise of my boss and gives me a shitty route, then I guess it will be true..haha . This day only comes round once every 100 years. It's good to see such a landmark day, its a bit like seeing a new millenium in, your in a certain generation of people that are going to see it.

The weekend was quite quiet really. We went to Matt and Kelly's BBQ on Saturday night. It was very relaxed and good fun. Sunday we went to the coast and met up with his Mum and Dad. The weather has been stunning for the last week or so, and i've definatly got my tan going on.

I've bnot got much planned this week. I can get hold of some tickets for Bon Jovi on Sunday. I'll see how much money I've got in the bank. I saw them bak in the 90's when Van Halen were supporting them. Trouble was, Van Halen blew them off the stage, they were stunning, and I wanted to go home and not bother watching Bon Jovi at all. I didn't enjoy the gig and I'm sort of hoping that if I go again, it will repair some of that. Nickelback are supporting and I dont really like them, so there's no trouble there.

Tuesday, 30 May 2006

The Long Bank Holiday

The weekends been a busy one. This is the first weekend I've had off for ages and I wanted to let my hair down a bit. Well...ive got no hair, but you know what I mean.

Saturday night I went out with my mate Mike, I've not seen him for ages, and as he was DJ'ING at the local bar, i thought it was a good time to catch up. It was a great night out.

On Sunday I went out with Antony for a little drive, then we went to The Riverside Tavern for a bottle of wine and to relax. Unfortunatly there was an open mike night, which seemed to only be open to 3 people, all of  whomn were shit and so far up they're own arse's it was unreal.

Yesterday we went up to London in the car to have a look at at a few places. We went past the BBC center and found a few football stadiums.The new Arsenal one is huge. In the evening we went to Matt and Kelly's for a visit. We got a chinese in ( take away..not person )  and they had a couple of bottles of wine. I didn't as I had to drive home.

I knackered after it all and could do with another couple of days off to recover. Its half term for the kids this week, so I'm hoping for an easy weel at work. There shouldn't be much traffic about and I'm hoping a lot have people have gone away.

Never know your luck

Tuesday, 23 May 2006

Good and Bad

Yesterday morning I went to the hospital to have a check up and make sure everything is cool. I got my results from the last set of test that I had back in February. My viral load is under 50 counts still, which is really really good. Its been stable like that for a while which I'm really happy about. My CD4 count ( which is my immune system ) has gone from 92 up to 174. Its not been that high before and the doctor was really happy with that. Its still not as good as it could be, but its a vast improvement.

The only bad part is that the creotine level ( which is something to do with my liver ) is going up quite quickly. This is bad, as it means my liver is starting to deterioate and could get damaged. This is mainly down to the tablets, and of course could be down to drinking to much. The doctor has taken some more bloods, and if the levels have gone up again, then he is going to change my tablets, just to see if it will make a difference. Its a bit worrying, but it can be over come.

Monday, 22 May 2006


Why do I feel so angry all the time? Yesterday I got so angry that I went dizzy and nearly passed out. It doesn't seem right to me. I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water and be there for everyone else, I'm not dealing with my own problems and its starting to get to me. I feel boxed in. Everyone is telling me they're problems, but no one is listening to mine. I feel like people are deaf to me sometimes. " Oh its Stewart, he's ok, he's always happy " but I'm not. I'm really pissed off with people picking me up and putting me down when it suits them, and I'm pissed off with people expecting me to jump when they say so. Can I have a little time to do what I want to do?

I'm so happy I'm with Antony now, he keeps me sane and on the ground. His little smile is just the best, and I love to see him smile. He's very sweet. Things are going well, but its hard with the hours we work, and the fact that we cant really spend a night together as there isnt the room and my dogs would really fuck with his asthma. Things are going good though, I love him to bits.

Lisa is going to come and see me soon, and we are going to talk about whats happening and how to sort it. I need some direction I think, or just a punch bag. Now there's an idea, I could put one up in the cellar and give that a good hammering when I get the ump.

I'm trying hard to keep my head above water...bear with me people!!!

Friday, 19 May 2006

Big Brother

Well Big Brother has started again with the usual wierdo's and freaks to grace our screens for another 13 weeks. They have a bloke in there that has turettes, now while this is really funny, I question to myself " Is it right to be laughing at him? " While my evil self says Yes, there a part of me that thinks its wrong. There's a really fighsty woman in there that hates everyone, a knob who's built like a stick and thinks he's from Baywatch, a screaming queen who sounds like Lorraine Kelly, a very very fit posh boy, and a few other nobodys who no one really is going to give a fuck about. I hope the tourettes lad wins it. Fucking hell he is funny! Antony loves BB ( Big Brother I'm talking about! Tut!! ) but I can take it or leave it. My Mum is the worse one though. She will sit there and watch them sleep sometimes, sad cow. Still, it keeps her quiet for a while.

What else has happened? Oh yeah, on Tuesday night, Ant and Me went and stayed in a hotel in Brighton for the night. It was good to get away from this area for a little while, and it was loverly just to spend some time with him just lazing about. Of course he got me really drunk again!!

He's working this weekend, so I'm going to have a quiet one and do a few things ive said I've been going to do for ages. I know I'm going to hit the gym at some point, and get my golf clubs out and have a bat about up the driving range. I wanted to be out on the courses by now, but the great British weather has proved to be somewhat wank again this year so its not happened.

Oh I need a shit...gotta go

Monday, 15 May 2006

Deal or no Deal?

Isn't deal or no deal just the best program on the telly at the moment? Its a simple game, but its so addictive.

Anyway.... Antony, Me , my sister, Maxine her daughter and Emily went for a drink in the Riverside Tavern on Saturday. It was a fab night and we were even home by mid-night. We both like going out early now and going home early, its much better.

Yesterday we went for a little ( long ) drive around the coast. We found a digital camera wich we kept, and we stood on the top of Beechy Head, which is a huge cliff top. Scary as shit it was. We drove round to Brighton and had a little wander on the pier, then we went to find something to eat. On the walk down the seafront, we saw ex boxer Chris Eubank standing on the seafront next to his Peterbuilt truck which he drives about. The bloke is huge, a lot bigger than I thought he would be, and strangly he was very nice. Antony was very suprised to see him.

I copped a result today at work. I went in at 5.30 this morning ( urghh ) and I got a route that only had 7 drops on it. I was back at the yard just after 11 and was home by 12.. 2 hours early!! What a result. I bet I get a load of old shit tomorrow.


Tuesday, 9 May 2006

Putting The Boot In

The greedy bastards that we are, Antony and me managed another 2 meals out on Sunday. We had a full roast dinner for lunch, then a proper steak fry up for tea. Loverly stuff it was. We went to see Antony's Mum and Dad on Sunday afternoon. Kev is going in for a hernia operation today. He was a bit worried but I'm sure he'll be ok. We chatted all afternoon about general stuff. I was a good afetrnoon and a bloody good laugh.

Yesterday at work I had a right mare of a day. It was hammering it down with rain, the traffic was awfull and I got very stressed out. Anyway... Remember rude bitch 70's star from a couple of post's ago? Well... who had to deliver to her!! I was so embaressed and just hoped to god that she didn't recognise me. In fairness to her, she was very nice and gave me a tip. So from now on I shall not judge C list celebs until I've met them. Nigel Planer was very nice though. He was Neil in The Young Ones and played Pops in the original stage version of We Will Rock You. Great bloke.

Last night I went to a jam night with some old friends of mine from Safeways. I got up and had a little play on a couple of numbers, Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin was one of them. I love playing live, kills me though, but I love it! 

Ritchie Blackmore is still great!! I might pay a lot of money and bye this photo enlarged and in a frame.


Saturday, 6 May 2006

For the Love Of God

Yes I still love Twisted Sister. Fucking good rock and roll band. I got hold of a box set of Deep Purple's last days with Ritchie Blackmore, one is a show at the N.E.C. in Birmingham, and the other is from his last gig in Stuttgart. The N.E.C. gig is shit as Ritchie copped the arsehole about something, but Stuttgart is stunning. Ritchie Blackmore is a god on the guitar, very underated and a true god. I love that neo classical style that he and John Lord play in. Very Bach and Paganini, but played on different instruments, true genieus!!

Anyway, Last night Antony and myself went out for a meal at Frankie and Bennies. It was great and we had a really good time. Tonight we went for a meal with his sister and some of her freinds. That was a laugh aswell. After that we met up with his good friends Matt and Kelly. They're getting married next year bless them. They make a great couple and are a really good laugh. I love them to bits.

Speaking of loving someone to bits. I love Antony so much. Ive not been this happy for ages. He's the only person I know that can put up with me and my slightly bizzare sence of humour and the way I tend to go off on one at points. We are going to be together a long time. Marrage.... looks like it will happen in the future. A Medieval theme is being banded about. What fun that would be, spit roast and everything ( not the rude version of spit roast either!! )

I love him... Very much!!!! 

Tuesday, 2 May 2006

Lions and tigers and bears oh My!!

Yesterday I went to Whipsnade Zoo with Craig, Bridget and the kids. It was really overcast at forst but the sun came out and it got nice. I've not been there before, but it was really good with lots to see.

When I got home, Antony text me and we went for a drive into London. I showed him some of the places I deliver to by the Thames. It used to be a shithole area, but now its really posh , and we saw an apartment for sale for £2,250,000. Thats for a one bedroom apartment!! It was huge though and had a cracking view of Tower Bridge.

I've got work today, I dont want to go, I'm bore with it now.

Thursday, 27 April 2006


Hopefully I'm going to get tickets to go and see Twisted Sister. I never got chance the first time round as I was too young. Fucking great fun band. You Cant Stop Rock And Roll!!


Tuesday, 25 April 2006

Shitty semi Celebrities!!

On yet another route I had around London that I had last night, I had a delivery just by the Albert Bridge in the very posh Battersey Park area. I had sorted out the goods and was just making my way to the door of the appartment buildings, when the concierge came running out. Now as a foot note, I dont have much time for concierge, as I've found that 90% of them are jumped up little wankers who put far to much importance on they're jobs. The only one I do like is the bloke at Spice Court at Tower Bridge, the blokes a diamond and very helpfull. Anyway, this concierge come out and is saying I have to hurry up the ramp. I naturally took my time just to piss him off. He was saying that a celebrity was coming down the hall and wouldn't want to see a delivery boy and would complain ( I'm 33..I pointed this out ) Now my mind was racing, who could it be, royalty, a rock It was Paula Wilcox, who was semi famous in the 70's!!!

My customer services went right out the window, I looked at her, then looked back at the concierge and said " Well dont she have anything delivered then? " I thought she was going to explode, but I gave her my best " Whatever love " look and toddled off. Who the fuck does she think she is. I happened to see her again as I was putting the empty crates back in my van. She looked at me and I mouthed snotty cow at her.

So anyway, I'm fully expecting to get the sack today for being rude. I couldn't give a shit who they are, they are no better than me.

On other notes. Antony bless him has been working nights, so I've not had chance to see him much. I went over to see Craig and Bridget and Ant went to work on Sunday night. Craig was bitching that he had to work 3 nights this week, so I told him that he was quite welcome to do my job for me and I would do his. He gets every Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. I would kill for that. Anyway, we had a good chat about stuff and arranged a good couple of days out for the four of us. I think we are going to a zoo on Monday, and looking at trips to Blackpool and stuff. I need to start thinking about a holiday aswell.



Sunday, 23 April 2006

For Antony

I cant always say how I feel, but this does it well enough.


I've been down this road once or twice before

Through the open door

I come falling through it

There's a sign post up ahead

Like a watershed

And it opens my eyes

Ways for me to begin

To be born again

and knowing for the first time

Ways, all so differently

Shine for me to see

The better man that I am


I've been places in my head

Behind me worse than whats ahead

And on my path just like a dream

Takes from me the inbetween

From out of nowhere you came strong as stone

And now I know i'll never have to be alone

What it is I know


You will always be my safe home

I walk, I run, I burn out into you

You have always been my safe home

My whole life has moved on.


I know what I am and what you'll always be

My reality is better than I could dream

All my fears turn from black to white

And I'll stand and fight

The whole world for you

Destiny I never did believe

My only god is love and faith

What I see in you and I can hold it true

Like a weight in my hand

Saturday, 22 April 2006

Ok Then!!

Ok then here we go. JMO Queen wont know who this is ( it was most of last year really ) but Mr B ( Antony ) and me are now OFFICIALY together. He is such a huge part of my life, more than Lee was really, and Im so happy were have got here. I really want to build on it and make us both happy. I'm so happy its unreal. I love him to bits, and I really mean that!!

Thursday, 20 April 2006

Still not going to say!!

I still cant say what is going on, but tings are good!! I'm very happy at the way things are going, and small tentative steps are being made in the right direction to what could be total happiness.

I'm happy...very happy indeed!! More soon

Sunday, 16 April 2006

Happy Easter Bitch!!

Happy fucking Easter my arse! Get a phone call this morning..lee " Hello happy easter can you come round I want to talk to you?" Stewart" Yeah course I can, you ok?" Lee " Yeah im ok i just need to talk to you".

So I goes round there at 1 oclock and get. " I'm really sorry but this isnt working its over"

Fucking nice one, easter sunday and i get dumped!! I know I cant really moan as i done it last year, but i worked my bollox off to make it work.

Anyway, this afternoon was very cool indeed, things have happened that im very pleased about and is totally coll and what ive wanted for a long time. More soon.

Welcome to the fucked up world of me, hang on its going to be a bumpy ride, but if things work out the way they seem to be going,it going to be a good one.


Saturday, 15 April 2006

Job Hunt

I've been appying for jobs like a mad man this week, well 3 to be precise. Two driving jobs that are day work and not evenings, and a job as a runner working in a post production studio in London, and this studio is owned by Iron Maidens record company. How cool would that be if got that job!!

I was amazingly pissy at work yesterday. 13 drops and 11 of them were flats, and we're not just talking ordinary flats, these are the penthouses on the Thames that you can park anywhere near and have to drag all this shit about. To top my mood off, some jumped up fucking woman said to me QUOTE " Why should I lug my shopping about when I can pay someone like you to do it for me " UN QUOTE.That really really pissed me off, after I'd lugged her £200 shopping up 2 flights of stairs and up 7 floors in a lift. How I didn't tell her to fuck off I will never know.

Anyway I did see the very good looking Tim Vincent from TV yesterday. hmmm

Saturday, 8 April 2006

feeling odd

I  feel A bit odd tonight.Yes im drunk, but isnt that when I let my heart pour out ay? I've been up for hours, as last night after the gig, I had such bad tinitus in my ears I could'nt sleep so I've been awake for a day and a half. I'm feeling very guilty for some reason.

I feel guilty for feeling so well,

Im feeling guilty for loving 2 people at the same time.

I feel guilty for having a nice car and enough money in the bank to tide me over when others are struggleing.

I feel guilty for having a job when others haven't and not being totaly happy with it.

I miss my old job so badly. I miss my old friends so much. I never thought it would be this bad. I still see Craig a lot, but I miss Rob. I haven't seen him since he left. Craig and Rob meant so much to me at Safeways, and I never thought it would end, but it has and I feel lost.

I cant seem to find what I want to do with my life.

Friday, 7 April 2006

Gig On

Tonight I've got a gig on. This is the first one for ages, and i'm bricking it a bit. I've sorted all my drums out and I've just got to remember everything. This time I must remember to tape up my hands to avoid the blisters that I got last time.

I've been off all week, just chilling out and catching up with some people that I haven't seen for a while. I've also became very good at online poker. Only play money though, not real stuff.

There's so many gigs this year that I just cant afford to go to them all. I'm going to the Foo Fighters and Motorhead in Hyde Park, and I really want to catch Twisted Sister if I can. Of course we will do Motorhead and Status Quo at christmas. Hopefully health will be good within the Quo camp this year, and the gigs will go ahead.

Well I've got to go and prepair for mine. I hope they have my rider sorted and they have taken all the blue M&M's

Tuesday, 28 March 2006

Got Whacked

Its been a busy week and weekend again. I went down to Southampton on Sunday ( mothers day, how bad of me!! ) to see my cousin play on his band. Its the first time I've seen them play and they were really good. It was only the 7th time they have played with they're new singer, and they were very tight.

On another not, there i was at work last night, sitting at a set of traffic lights on London's south circular, when I was hit from behind by a minibus. It was quite funny as there was not a scratch on my van, but the radiator and had split on her bus. It shocked me a bit afterwards, and today I've got a bit of a sore neck. I've got so much paperwork to do today aswell, even though the accident wasn't my fault. Oh well

Monday, 13 March 2006

From Beer To Eternity

Ive had a busy week with work and all. I've been delivering in London a lot and been to some stunning ( and expensive ) appartments just by the river. I think it was on Friday, I saw Callum Best ( son of football legend George Best ) just getting into his car in Wandsworth Road. He's even more good looking in real life.

I went out with Antony to watch Becky's boyfriends band play last night. They were very good and very loud. They were doing a battle of the bands thing, and they won this round. I've got to get myself sorted with a band.

Thursday, 2 March 2006

On The Up!

Phew I'm a tired bunny this week. I've been doing mainly early's, and as its the time for the monthly paid lot to get they're money, they have been going made buying food, so weve been very busy this week.

Saturday night I went out with Craig and Ian to see a Led Zeppelin tribute band called Letz Get Zepped. They were really great. They did all the classics, and the guitarist even did the bit with the violin bow during Dazed and Confused, plus to my enjoyment, then bit with the theromin during Whole Lotta Love. I'm going to try and get Craig to come to see Deeply Purple with me again, they were really great aswell. Who's Who is coming up..might be worth a watch.

Apart from that I've not done much. I brought Lee a new mobile phone as hism was fucked, and I got him some new aftershave.

On Sunday we are going to Bristol to pick a new guitar that I got from E Bay. Its a rare Danelectro U2.. I cant wait..ive wanted one for ages



Friday, 17 February 2006

Working hard

I've been working very hard indeed. I'm out of training and out  on my own. I've had mainly good days, but it went tit's up last night and I was an hour late getting back, but hey ho.

My redundancy money came through, so it's been spend spend spend this week. I paid off what was left on the loan for the B.M.W, then I managed to get a cracking deal on a new year old Mini. Its bright yellow with 2 black stripes over it, and it really goes like a rocket..its great. I paid my Mum aswell for paying for this new computer when the old thing packet up, and I've just got myself some goodies from

Apart from that, things have been quiet.

Tuesday, 7 February 2006

So Tired

Wow I'm so tired. Ive done a couple of early mornings and I'm not good at them. I was up at 4.45 this morning. I'm still in training at the job, weve been to most of south London and I've been in some really stunning houses. Today I went in an 11th floor stateroom in a private appartment building right next to the London Eye and over looking the Thames. It was stunning. Tomorrow we are going to the country I think, just so I can get used to driving a big van on small roads. Im ok in the city though...

I still like the it in fact. 

Thursday, 2 February 2006

I'll Be Ok

The training is going ok. I've done 3 days in the classroom with the other new starters and today I've got a day off before I start my on the road training. There were 5 people from Safeways there, so it wasn't that bad as I wasn't on my own. There were a couple of younger lads there aswell on there own, so they latched onto us. They were really good fun, and Dave is 22 and stunningly good looking!!! We are freinds now!! lol The only shit of it is this Friday and Saturday, I've got to do 3pm till 11pm. Saturday I was going to the last Safeway get together, just so we all could say goodbye to one another properly. Its a shame, but I have to move on and get on with my life.

I just wish now that the weather would sort itself out and start to brighten up. Apparantly, in this part of the country, we have had such a dry winter, they are worried about a drought again this year. This means another hose pipe ban so no one can water they're gardens or wash the cars.

Right..I'm off out to play golf!!

Sunday, 29 January 2006

A Week Off

Its been a strange old week really. I've been relaxing a lot, and practicing my golf swing up the driving range. It's just felt a little odd because I've not been on holiday and I've not been working, like being in limbo i suppose!!. I've caught up with a few people this week and just chilled out and watched telly.

I've been out over the weekend with Lee in the pub. He's very stressed with his job and I've been stressed with starting this new job, so things have beena little tense. We are ok now, I've been with him this evening and we are ok I'm happy to say.

I start the new job in the morning. I've got to be up at 6, and I fucking hate getting up early. We are going for training for a couple of days in Hatfield. We are getting bussed up there, so at least I haven't got to drive it and I can have a sleep on the coach. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm very nervous. I'll let you know how I get on.

Saturday, 21 January 2006


Ive just come back from my driving assessment, and I'm pleased to say that I passed it and have a new job!! I start on the 30th, so I now have a week off to recharge my battery's after the whole Safeway/ Morrisons affair.

I'm very happy. Very happy indeed. My redundancy money is all mine now to do with as I wish. I'm still upset about leaving all my work buddies, but a few start with me at this new job, infact I start on the same day as my mate Ian, so at least there will be someone I know on the first day.

So off to the pub tonight to celebrate!!

Friday, 20 January 2006

End of an era

Today was my last day at work. I've just got home and I've just had a good cry to myself. It was so sad leaving Craig and all my other shift mates, who I've been with for the last 10 years. Its strange to think that all I've known work wise has gone and I've got to start again. We started clering the place out over the last couple of weeks.We are down to 5000 pallets left in the raking, thats down from the 14,000 that we had at the start of last week. It's horrible to see it that empty and in  some ways I'm quite glad that I didn't decide to stay on and help clear the place right out. Its over.

Onto new things. I fucked up. My driving assesment is tomorrow and not last Saturday as I thought it was. Hopefully I will be ok and get it. My mate Ian did and he starts on the 30th. That would be good for me as I get to have a week off before that starts.

Craig and me are going to play golf on Monday after he finish's ( he's staying on ) and I'm going to see Chas and Dave ( My American friends, Dont worry about who they are, they are a South London band ) on Wednesday night at Jumping Jacks. Its going to be such a laugh!! I might even hav a beer or ten!!

Monday, 16 January 2006

Brokeback Mountain

Has anyone else seen Brokeback Mountain yet?  We went to see it last night, and I thought it was the biggest pile of crap I've seen in my life..well..apart from Judgement Day that is. It was such a slow film that seemed to keep going round and round in circles. I got the very deep and hidden meaning to it, but it could have been done better.

Its been a strange weekend. I'm still upset about work, but I've been going back down the pub more with Lee, and I seem to be back with all my friends again. It's like it was 3 years ago before I got ill, but better. My life is changing so much at the moment, I'm back with Lee, Antony has got a new boyfriend, all my works mates are splitting up and going seperate ways, its all to much to take in. Saying that though, if I do get this job and things settle down, then I think things will be ok. It looks like things are going back tom how they used to be. I used to like it like that.

Friday, 13 January 2006

A Sad Day

Its been a very sad day today. A lot of my very close friends at work went on the first wave of redundancy's. It was so hard saying goodbye to so many people that I have spent nearly every day with for the last ten years. I'm going to really miss them, and I had a tear in my eye as I said goodbye to them. Rob was choaked up to, and he's a big strong lad, but we could barely talk to one another when he went. Its so sad, but life goes on. Ive got another week then I go. Its going to be awfully sad next week.

On a better note, I passed the first part of my interview, and I have my driving assesment next Saturday morning. I'm looking forward to it really, I think I'm going to like my new job if I get it. New year and a new change in life

Tuesday, 10 January 2006

Another Perfect Day!!

Poxy weekend I've had!!

First thing!!

My fucking computer went belly up big styles on Friday night. Ive lost absolutely everything, all my holiday photo's and days out photo's, all my music files and all my video files. So on Sunday, Mum ( bless her ) lent me the money to go and get a new one. Its very cool and very smart not to mention very fast!!

Second Thing!!

I went out in the car on Saturday and my front ball joint went on the car. To top this off..i got pulled over by the old bill because one of my brake lights was out..and he was such a tosser aswell.

Third Thing!!

On Monday I officially got made redundant from work. As you know this has come as no surpise, but it still really pissed me off when it happened. Now thwey are being wankers and making us wait to get out final redundancy payment letters. I wan to know what im going to get and I want to fucking know NOW!!

Next Friday is my last day, and the bastards are going to make us work a full shift!!

Fourth Thing!!

I come home tonight and turn on my computer,and my little bastard nephew has managed to delete 3 program file form my computer already. He's such a shit. He kept doing it to my last one and I think he had a lot to do with it fucking up. So im going to ban him from using it.

On a better note though. I had an interview for a job today, so hopefully I'll get a phone call in the next couple of days saying Im through to the second interview..fingers crossed!!

Wednesday, 4 January 2006

Belated New Year!!

Sorry for the lateness of it all but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

The reason its so late is that there is so much going on at the moment I cant think properly. New years eve was a laugh. Lee had to go home early because he came down with food poisoning, there was a punch up in the pub ( a gay one at that ), me and my mate Mike pulled all the feather bowers off the stage and threw them in the audiance, then we ripped down the backdrop and threw that off to, and to top it off, some silly fat queen sat on the table with the buffet on and snapped it, so there he was covered in sausage rolls and cheese sandwich's!!

In 2 weeks time im getting made redundant. I've been looking for jobs and I've got an interview next week. Its nothing great really. Its delivering food to people's house when they do internet shopping. Apparantly..Cliff Richard is a client!!

I'm half scared of losing my job, and half looking forward to it. I've not had an interview for 10 years and it all seems a bit scary.

I'll get by though