Monday, 30 May 2005

Shitty day and strange thoughts

As it was a national holiday here in the U.K. today, our fucking arsehole boss's decided they needed us to work today. So with the right arsehole we all went in and low and behold, theres fuck all to do. They totally wasted our time, but at least I got paid £22 and hour to do nothing.

I dropped Antony off at his Dads house on the way to work today and he said that he would ring me if he wanted a lift back home. As the time wore on and he didn't call or text me, I sundenly started to realise that this was the first evening that I would'nt see him in over a month. I really felt lost amd started to miss him. He's such a big part of my life now that I was feeling sad that I didn't know when I was going to see him again. As it turned out, when I got in my car to come home, I heard a phone ringing and assumed it was one of my work mates phone, then I realised it was coming from my dashboard. Silly bollocks had left his phone in my car and was ringing it to get me to go and get him. I was instantly cheered up by talking to him and by the thought that I was going to see him. I picked him and took him home, he was very tired so he has gone to bed.

Which is something I'm about to do

Birthday Suprises!!

Yesterday Antony and me went to his Mums 50th birthday meal. She didn't know anything about it so when all the family turned up to the restaurant she started to cry. She had no idea at all that it was happening.The meal was loverly and Antony and me took the kids outside to play on the bouncy castle. Me being the biggest kid of all also ended up on the bouncy castle!!

After the meal we all went back to Antony's sisters house for some more drinks and a chat. There was a lot of them I have'nt met before but they were all loverly.

In the evening we went to see my managers band play. I ended up getting on the drums for a couple of songs, one of which i fucked right up and another which I played really well. During the evening I was approached by a guy who is in a band and is looking for a drummer. He said that they have a manager and an album coming out soon and that they want to see if they can make it professional. He's taken my number and is going to get they;re manager to ring me to arrange an audition. They play rock and metal, which to me sounds really good. I'm going to do it just to see if I can get through it!

Lets see what happens!

Saturday, 28 May 2005

Back to the Gym

We went back to the gym yesterday on the hottest day off the year so far. 30f apparantly. Needless today we sweated like mad but I've lost 3 pounds in a week, so it cant be all bad.

Weve been again today which wasn't bad but it was packed. We couldn't get on machines next to each other because fat arsed woman would'nt use a machine next to one another. We went shopping, took the dogs for a walk, cleaned the car and paid a few bills. Tonight we went to Southend, which is a seaside and was full of amazingly fit lads!! To much to look at really

I'm really tired and I'm off to bed

Thursday, 26 May 2005

We done it!!!

We won the europian cup last night but it wasn't easy!!. I got confused and we were actually playing A.C.Milan. They scored the first goal after 50 seconds, which was really bad, by the end of the first half we were 3 nil down. In the second half we got a goal followed by 2 others in 8 minutes. Things were looking up as we were now level again. We went into extra time looking good and managed to hold them off until we got to the penalty shoot out. We won the penaltys so we got the cup and as weve won the title 5 times we get to keep the cup for good. It was a hell of a game but I'm so glad we won it.

I've not been to the gym today, just to give my body a rest. My knees were really hurting so I thought it best to relax for the day. Yesterday we went for a swim and had a little time on the sunbed. Ive never been on one before and I loved it. I was a little worried about burning my cock though!!

Tuesday, 24 May 2005


We did the gym again this morning, and this time we got given a routine to do when we go up there. I'm ok on the running machine and the bikes, but the skiing machine really fucks my legs up. Jesus its hard work. Two days a week we have to go upstairs and do some weights and stuff. Some of the machines look really scary and I really did'nt know how to get in them,. let alone use them. Still, lets see how it goes, and see if I can get a bit buff before we go on holiday,

Monday, 23 May 2005


Ive taken a leaf out of NJLB's book and Antony and myself have joined the gym.We went last night for a little while and weve been this morning. Ive used muscles that I didn't know exisited!! I'm a little stiff in the arms and I'm absolutely fucked! The jacuzzi afterwards was nice though, although we went into the steam room afterwards and it made me sick. I forgot that about my lung damage and it didn't agree to it at all!! Never mind though.

Yesterday I went to watch my 10 year old nephew play in football ( soccer ) in his teams league cup final. They won again for the 3rd year on the trot. Brad was well happy and was proudly showing his trophy off to anyone that would look at it.

Speaking of soccer, Antony's team won the league cup final against Manchester United on Saturday. I hate Arsenal in but I hate Man.United even more, so I was sort of glad they won. My team ( Liverpool ) are playing P.S.V. Inhooven in the Europian champions league final on Wednesday. I'll be watching that at work If we lose Antony is going to give me so much shit..Ho hum!

Thursday, 19 May 2005

I need a new job

Fasting for 15 hours on Monday wasn't a very pleasant experiance I can tell you.By the time i'd had my bloods done on Tuesday I was absoulutely hanging out for something to eat, I was ratty and very tired. I spent most of the morning eating..that was nice though.

Yesterday I went for a meeting with Lisa and she introduced me to a man that had been H.I.V. positive for 15 years. I explained to him some of the feeling's that I had been going through and he said it was normal and you get this from time to time. He also told me something that made sence to me, he said people say your suffering from not..your living with it, and dealing with it. In the light of Kylie Minogue this week with breast cancer, it kind of make's me feel lucky in a way. I just have an illness that I can live with day by day with the help of tablets, Kylie and so many other people around the world that have cancer have to deal with this shit no knowing if they are going to make it through or not. Craigs mother in law had lung cancer last year, and she went through a terrible time with the chemotherapy and eventually died. So it could be worse.

Moral of the story is, we all have shit to deal with, but there is always someone else in the world who's pile of shit is alot bigger than yours!! Make the most of your life while your healthy, you only get one shot at it. 

Monday, 16 May 2005

Mad weekend again

Well here we go again another potty weekend over and done with. On Saturday Antony and myself went up to London on the train, we went to look round H.M.S. Belfast which is an old WW2 war ship that they have opened up to the public. It was really good on board there, having a look round the guns and the engine rooms and all that. We met up with Ant's friends Matt and Kelly a little after that and we went for a few drinks in Soho first, then we got a tube upto Camden and had a look round there. Its a very yound and trendy town, but it has a very gothic sort of feel to it. We sat next to the lock by the canal and had a few drinks and a chat until Matt and Kelly left us as they had to get home.

Ant and me went back into central London and carried on drinking until we had had enough and we got the train home.

On Sunday, we went for a drive in the afternoon.It was really sunny and warm. We had some breakfast in a little park near to where I work, amd there were lots of people there enjoying the sunshine. After that we carried on up the road and Antony showed me this small little village that had a stream running through it. The only way to get to this village was to drive through the I did laughing my head off as it was a little deeper than and wider than it looked.

We drove from there up into the outskirts of London and out towards Heathrow airport. We drove round the perimiter of it and found a place to park that was right under where the planes were landing. Antony was facinated as he had never seen planes fly so close.

After that we drove into Windsor, which is where the Queen lives, and so does the other queen ( Elton John ). We had a little look and took some photo's then started to make our way home. I made a little detour as I saw a sign for a place called Shepperton. There is a big film studio there that I wanted to find as it is owned by the group The Who, and it was the last place that Keith Moon played his drums with them before he died.

A little up the road from there we came across Hampton Court, which is where king Henry Eight used to live. Fucking great place it is right on the banks of the Thames.  Time was getting on so i dropped him off at home and we both went to bed.

Today we took the dogs for a walk and I had an amazingly piss boring day at work. Ive got to have a blood test in the morning and I'm not aloud to eat for 15 hours.I'm starving hungry now and its only 23.50pm. Im off to bed, but I'm going to put some pics up from the weekend.

Thursday, 12 May 2005

Feeling Sloppy

For some reason I still feel very sloppy this week. I dont feel to bad today, but I think thats because its Thursday and I know Ive only got today and tommorow to work.

Yesterday had all the marking's of a really shitty day at work and I had a right little stress on before I started. Afer about an hour I was ok and the day went really well. Gary, Craig and myself had a really good laugh and we managed tomget some good telly watching time in. I seem to watch more telly at work than I do at home, but hey at least I'm getting paid to do it!

Wednesday, 11 May 2005


Ive been very tired this week for some reason. A lot has been going on and I think its catching up with me. I'm not getting any younger and burning the candles at both ends isnt doing me any good.Work has been really boring this week aswell, it just seems like I'm going through the motions because I have to and not because I want to.

I cant wait for our holiday, its only 7 weeks away. Ive got Motorhead's 30th Anniversary concert aswell on the 16th June, which I'm really looking forward to. I haven't been to a good concert to since December and it would be good to really blow the cobwebs out of my system.

Monday, 9 May 2005

Walks and Talks

Last night Antony surgested that we go for a walk just to get out, so we did. We walked and walked and walked....FOR TWO HOURS!!!. We went for miles and miles just walking and talking. Like the two big kids that we are, we stopped of in a childrens playground and played on the swings and roundabouts, damn funny it was, I haven't been on a swing for about 10 years.

He was texting me this morning when he finished work because his favorite soccer team beat mine 3-0 yesterday. I reminded him that my team were in the Champions league Europian final and his wasn't!! I'm going to se my baby tonight at work. We laugh so much and have so much fun together, I find it hard to believe that we get on so well, amd nothing feels forced between us. I love him so much!!!

Sunday, 8 May 2005

Sunday Morning

I didn't do much yesterday, I just bummed about and did a few little jobs. Antony called me this morning and I went to pick him up from work and we went round to a boot fair.There was a load of old shit round there really so we didn't get anything. Ive just dropped him off so he can go to bed. I'm going to see him again later on when he's woken up. The formula 1 racing is on the telly later so i'll give that a watch.

Thursday, 5 May 2005


Its funny how it tears me apart

First it breaks your head then your heart

I should've loved you better from the start

Its chewing at my bones and my brain

Its working through the flesh that remains

Why cant this feeling leave me and just fade away?


From day one I lead you on

I'm sorry now but I cant stay

Things have change I'm not the same

Now I must walk the other way


Confusion raining down from up high

And all the time I ask myself why?

Why cant  I make decisions?

Cant make up my mind


Although your trying hard to forget

The reason why you feel so misled

Now come on now forgive me

I'll help you accept.

Wednesday, 4 May 2005

Its Alright

I'm a bit behind with all this but here goes.



Antony and me took the dogs out in the morning for a long walk in the park. Its was really really warm and sunny6 and it was just great to be in the fresh air. After that, Antony took me to where he grew up and showed me round the town he lived in. We went to a huge pub that used to be an old opera house. They have basically left it very much how it was with all the original features in it.The whole of the downstairs is a bar now with seating, but all the stalls upstairs have been left untouched. The stage is still there and they have turned that into a restaraunt. Truely stunning.

After that he took me to a place called High Rocks, which is a place that you can do proper rock climbing. These rock have been around before man was on earth apparantly, and we climbed the easy wasy up and we were jumping from rock to rock and exploring.

In the evening we drove through the country back roads to Brighton and had a little walk to the fun fair that is on the end of the pier. We spent the evening in a loverly bar, Antony got drunk and I drove home. It was a wonderfull day.




Monday was a bank holiday for us here, so I didn't have to work. We went down to have lunch with Antony's Mum and Dad. They are great I love them. In the afternoon we met my mate Craig from work at the pub as his daughters boyfriend was playing in a band. They were like Blink 182 a bit, not really my sort of style but thet were really good. Antony and Craig got on really well, which I was so pleased about, we all share the same sort of humour.

We had a good drink in the sunshine, and it was a great day out. I love it and so did Antony. I love him so much!!

Sunday, 1 May 2005

The Long and Winding Road

Yesterday was fantastic. It started of shitty as I could'nt find a cash point machine that worked. That meant I was late picking Antony up and late getting on with the journey. Half way to the port we hit a really bad traffic jam and I was starting to lose my temper. When we finally got to Portsmouth the sun was shining and we just about made the boat with 15 minutes to spare. The boat set sail and what happens, we get put into the English Channel and hit really bad fog!! We could'nt see a thing.

When we got there it was loverly, we drove round the island looking at the little bays that we come across and watching people surfing. The scenery was loverly, it really was a beutifull island.

We came back and took the long road home, we finally got back about mid night. It was a long day but I really loved it. Antony loved it to and it was great to spend a day with him laughing and joking.