Monday, 31 January 2005

Monday Monday

Well here we go again, the start of another boring week. I relaxed all day yesterday and did fuck all. It was wonderfull, I just played music all day and played guitar. I learnt some new little things and felt happy with myself. Not much to say again this morning, so I will shut up.

Sunday, 30 January 2005

Lazy Days and Sundays

I had a loverly long sleep last night, and as of this time, I have nothing to do today, so I can just please myself and do what I want. I love lazy days on my own, I can play music all day if I want, play dvd's, or I might just go for a little drive in the car. A joyful day hopefully.

Saturday, 29 January 2005

Holy Fuck Dude!!

I have just watched one of the fucking funniest films that I have ever seen. It was Team America. Now I'm sure the film will piss off many Americans, but a lot of it is true.It is a vry out of order film, and I dont think the humour in it is very American, its very English toilet humour. Its taking the piss out of Thunderbirds, Rent the musical,Star Wars and a fgew other films. I can honestly say that I have never cried with laughter in the cinema, but tonight I did a couple of times. Fucking great film...go watch it.

Thank god its Saturday

Its another crisp morning. Yesterday was a surprise at work because my good friend Mark is leaving. He's one of what you would call our inner circle at work There Craig, Mark,Gary,Rob,Ian and me in our little circle of friends that always go to dinner together and go to tea break together. I always get a little upset when one of the boys leave, I dont know why, but I always do.Ive seen so and go though over the years.

Speaking of which, yesterday was 2 anniversary's for me. The first being that Ive been at Safeway's 9 years yesterday, and it was a year ago that I collapsed at work and got rushed to hospital. Well, we never got there as there was a blizzard outside and we could'nt get to the hospital, so really it was the start of 6 month's off sick. It doesn't seem like a year ago that happened. Its good that I'm feeling much better this year though, i could'nt eat anything because i kept being sick, and my weight had got down to 9 stone ( dont know what that is in pounds ) But now im upto 12.5 stone and i'm feeling good!!

I got hasseled all evening by Leewee to go out with him and Antony last night. Im a bit skint and told him this, but he said he's pay for I went. It took 3 hours of persuading though. It was a strange night, Antony went home as he was really tired, so was I but I managed to get through. I didnt get to drunk either!!

Minor miracle for me!!

Friday, 28 January 2005

Freeky Friday

Its a beutifully dull and wet rainy Friday, but at least its not as cold. This week has gone pretty quickly really. Im not complaining about it mind. Yesterday I manage a 4 HOUR tea break in a 7 hour shift, now that even for me is some kind of record!

Not much has happened again, so I will shut up and not bore you all!!

Thursday, 27 January 2005

Ive got a Cold!

Fucking tablets arent working, Ive got another bastard cold. This one is really making me feel like shit aswell. My nose is all bunged up and it feels like its going to my chest. This I dont need! On a positive side though, it was enough to put Lee off from staying tonight, so it has its up side.

Something actually happened at work yesterday! We were just finishing dinner when all the lights went off, so we were sat in our canteen in total darkness. Gary and me got out of there and went back to the warehouse, and that was in total darkness aswell. What a bonus!! Extended tea break on. The only downer was that the coffee machine's were down aswell. We had to wait half an hour for our engineering team to come back to work and turn our generators on. Isnt it sad when something like that is the highlight of the day.

Im going to look into a course ive seen about becoming a session drummer. Now thats a job that seems right up my to rude people!!

Wednesday, 26 January 2005

Betcha by golly wow!

I watched that Eagles game on t.v. last night when I got in from work. I must admit that I know fuck all about American football, it just looks like a padded up version of rugby, and I dont like that either.

Nothing much has happened really, I ve just dropped of misery guts at work and ive just come home to have a rest before I go.Work was boring and cold yesterday, i really need a new job!

Must start looking

Tuesday, 25 January 2005

Snow Dammit!!!!!!!

There's a good line in My Generation. " I HOPE I DIE BEFORE I GET OLD " Now I really do mean this. I had this conversation with Lee last Thursday. He was telling me that I should really look after myself and be carefull and I can live longer. To me though, having nearly died once aleady, I would rather have as much fun as I can whilst I'm alive and die relativley young. I would hate to live the perfect life of not eating chocolate and drinking beer and staying in, and then regret it when i'm to old to go and do it. I would much rather live a life a know when my time is up that I've had good fun and feel happy with myself. Does that sound wrong?

Anyway, Theres no snow still for us, only litle flurries of it passing through. I love the snow, and the last time we had anything really bad was in 1986 when i was 14. I have never been sledging with any of my neices or nephews, and that really pisses me off. Andrew is nearly 18 now aswell, I feel like ive missed out a bit, but you cant control the weather can you.

Work was very cold yesterday. It was also very busy for some reason, I have no idea why. I spent much of the day talking to people I haven't seen for a couple of weeks, and of course, I ate loads of stolen chocolate!!

Lee is coming to stay tonight, oh the joy. Im going to put a couple of pictures up. Ones of me and Antony and the other is of Lee. Make up your own minds....

P.S. Sorry for the posting of pics NJLB. I know you dont like it.

Monday, 24 January 2005

Holiday done

Back to work for me today. Its only been a week and a day, but it feels like ive been off forever. Its been a great holiday, ive done so much, and had so much fun. Mostly this is down to Antony, who gives me so much joy and makes me so happy its unbelieveable. The times we've had over the last week have been memorable and amazing, and I thank him and love him for making me so happy.

On the flip reverse side though, I still have the whole Lee thing to deal with now the show is out of the way. I need to focus my mind on what I am going to say and when im going to say it. Antony did say to me that I should'nt put  a date on it, but to just go with the flow and let things take there course. I feel that I will be sngle this time next week though. I might lose the computer, so I will tell you now, If I do, dont worry, I'll be back with another one soon, but we'll deal with that when and if it happens.

As always, after a really good holiday, i feel really depressed today., but i'll get through!!

Sunday, 23 January 2005

Day10 part1

Well the show's are over and they went quite well. Last night's one was bit jittery but todays show was spot on, they didnt last to long either, which was good. Im really tired though, its taken a lot of concentrating not to fuck up.

I phoned Antony a couple of times yesterday to make sure he was ok. I really miss him and his smile He's working nights at the taxi place tonight, so I wont see him fo a little while. I might go and see him at his other job sometime this week and surprise him. Mind you..this is the first Sunday i've been sober for ages!!

Saturday, 22 January 2005

Day9 Part 1

Well im half way through my day of hell!! When we got to the theatre this morning, we find that the pit area of the stage where we need to be is covered over. So we wait...for 2 fucking hours!! for it to be removed. Then we set up and find that Lee has forgotten some cables and that Catherine has forgotten her keyboard stand. Fucking great. At 1.30, I decided enough was enough and fucked off out of it. Ive come home to let the dogs out and to have some dinner...i'm fucking starving. Ive got to go back soon to do the show, and to take some leads back down with me and my amp. We had a little run through and and I couldn't hear Lee at all, so ive had to take my guitar amp to use as a monitor. I'll be glad when its over!

Friday, 21 January 2005

Day8 part 2

What a day. I did the rehearsals with Lee, which went quite well. I learnt the second half of the show first, then we had a couple of run through's of the whole show. I'm quite confident now that I can do it, but it's so different to what i normally play.

After rehearsals I went round to Antony's to get ready for tonight. We went down there at about 8 and had a couple of drinks and watched the band set up. I played drums on 2 songs and guitar on another..not showing off or anything!! haha. It was good to watch the band play aswell, it ws very loud and good fun. Antony told me he enjoyed himself anyway!!

So to bed.... Ive got a looooong day tomorrow. Set up, dress rehearsal with the cast, come home, go shopping, go back, play the show and then come home and go to bed......oh the joy!!!

Day8 Part1

Today is going to be a mad one. Ive got at least 5 hours of rehearsals with Lee for this show tomorrow, then tonight I'm playing again with that other band, so its a full day of drumming for me. I'm playing all tonight, just 5 or 6 songs I think. Antony is coming with me, which will be loverly, I can show him what I can really do..if you know what I mean.

Thursday, 20 January 2005

Day7 part 2

Lee phoned me tonight to say that rehearsals were off as it was to late, soooooooo I text Antony and I went round to his flat. We had some food and watched some telly, then we went to the shops to get some bread and stuff. After that we went to a couple of trendy straight pubs to have a look at some straight boys, and dear god there were some there!!! Fab it was.

After that I dropped him off and went to see Lee.Now this is bad...i mean really very..he wanted sex but I could'nt get a stiffy, not even close to one. I just didnt want to. He knew there was something up, so I told him that I had a lot on my mind and that I was worried about him, which I am, and that I had a lot of things going on in my head and I was stressed out. I know it sounds very me me me doesn't it, but we had a little chat anyway. This is going to be tough...but.......

Day7 Part 1

Today I got up late and was pottering about when Antony text me. He is getting a new computer tower tomorrow, so he wanted me to take his files off. He doesn't know how to do it you see. He's got a little part time job in a taxi office and today is his first day, so met him halfway and he gave me the keys to his flat. I took off what I could and distroyed the rest of his files. Out of the kindness of my heart ( he he!! ) i did his washing up, and I flung the hoover round the flat, and made him some sandwich's for work. I took these down to him with his keys, and he looked so happy, it really cheered me up to see his smiley face.

Im waiting for a phone call from Lee about this rehearsal this afternoon. He has Lisa our councillor around there at the moment talking to him, so it all depends how long she is there and how he is afterwards. Could be good, could be bad.

We'll have to wait and see

Wednesday, 19 January 2005

Day6 part 2

Another fun day with the boy.Today, Antony and myself went to a place called Bromley on the train. Its a nice place on the outskirts of London thats good for shopping. We had a little wander round then went to the pub. It was very relaxed and we had a few games of pool ( which I won hehe ) then we went to another bar and had some more beer and laughs.

It was getting dark so we decided to get the train home. When we got off we went to another pub to watch the football. A non league side were playing Manchester United ( boooooooo ) in the final stages of the F.A. Cup rounds. It was a really good game with the non league side really playing well against the premiership side.

After that we went babk to his flat and had some food and watched some t.v., then I walked home full of cheer from the day Ive had.

I never knew anyone that could make me laugh and feel so happy as he does. I love him!!

Day6 Part 1

Well, yesterday, Antony text me when Jamie had gone home. Jamie was upset,as you can imagine, and so was Antony to an extent, so I just took him for a drive. We drove down to Dover, which is on the coast and you can park up on top of the white cliffs and look down over the ferry port below. We went into the litle cafe that they've got there for a cup of tea and a sandwich, and we just watched the ships and jetfoils go in and out. We went for a little stroll along the tops of the cliffs, looking at all the old ww2 battlements that are still up there. It was fucking windy and cold, but fun. Then Antony dared me to climb up this bit of cliff upto the next level, so I did it ( Haha That'll teach you to dare me Ant!! xx ) We then went for a little drive along the coast and got some chips ( fries...but thicker....not potato chips..or crisps ) then we went to a very small and very dead gay bar. We laughed so much in there though, that I had tears running down my face. Great fun!!

After all that, I took the boy home and we watched some telly. He was falling asleep, so I left him and went to pick up cunt chops....sorry Lee. To say that I didnt want him there was an understatement, but Ive decided that after the show this weekend, thats it between us, game over. Im doing the show for 2 reasons,1 beacause I dont want to drop Lee in the shit at the last minute, 2 its because I WANT to do it. I love performing live as you know, and I think it will be a challenge for me.

Im going over to Antony's again in a little while, and we'll find something to do. I'll report back later!!!

Tuesday, 18 January 2005

Day5 Part 1

Well, the shit hit the fan last night! I went to bed early and I was just reading my Classic Rock magazine when my phone rang, it was Antony. I said hello and all he said to me was " I've done it " I knew what he meant, he had finished with Jamie. He was in a state so I went to pick him up and we went to a motorway ( freeway ) all night service station to have a chat about it. Mobile phone calls were coming and going pretty quick. Jamie phoned me and told me what had happened, and he kept phoning Antony, Leewee kept phoning Antony, it was nightmare. After an hour or so, I took him home so that he could chat with Jamie some more when things had calmed down a bit.

So today I dont really know what is going on. Ive got Lee coming to stay tonight, which i'm really dreading, I dont want him here...its my turn next I think......

Monday, 17 January 2005

Day 4 part 2

Lee went to the doctors and has been signed off with depression. He's really on the edge, so no matter how hard i tried, I decide today wasn't a very good day to dump him. I always put other people before myself, perhaps I'm wrong for doing it, but I hate upsetting people I love, and I love to make them happy. Lee knows this, but I had a word with our councillor and she is going to have a talk to him. He definatly knows something is wrong though.

I went to see Antony today, and his boyf Jamie was having issues aswell so Antony ended up like some agony uncle to us. Im going out with Antony tomorrow, so at least he will cheer me up...I hope

Day 4 part 1

Well. Lee and me have been rowing on the phone all morning. I find it difficult to even have a conversation with him now. He's really low. I dont want to kick him when he's down,but I dont know that I can cope anymore with it all. On top of it all now, he is really putting the blame thing onto me,and making me feel guilty. If it finish's he is going to do something daft i just know it.

What do I do?

Sunday, 16 January 2005

However much I booze

This is probably the most honest Ive ever been about myself...

I see myself, I'm a faker, a paper clown

It's clear to all my friends that I habitually lie

I just bring them down

I claim proneness to exaggeration

But the truth lies in my frustration

The children of the night they pass me by

I have to drown myself in brandy, in sleep I hide


However much I booze

There aint no way out


I lose so many nights of sleep worrying about my responsibities

Are the problems that screw me up

Really down to him or down to me?

My ego will just confuse me

Someday its going to up and use me

Dish me out another tailor made compliment

Tell me about some destiny I cant prevent

And however much I squirm


There aint no way out


And the night comes down like a cell door closing

Suddenly I realise that i'm writing now more honestly

While sitting here alone with a bottle and my head up floating

Far away from my conscience going on at me


Now the walls are clawed and scratched

In the morning i'll be hungover and detached

I'll take no blame

I just cant face my failure

I'm nothing but a well fucked sailor

You at home can easily decide whats right

By glancing at the songs I write

But it dont help me that you know


There aint no way out

Day 3 Part 2

Well, today I walked the the dogs 4 miles to Antony's house to pick my car up. We had a quick cup of tea with him, the I came home to take my Mum shopping. On the way, I stopped in to see Lee at work. He got the Bugsy Malone c.d. so that I could listen to it and learn it.

Antony and me went to another shopping center this afternoon, to look in the shops and to look at fit lads. We had so much fun walking around. I was being silly and just taking the mickey out of people.

Tonight we went to Secreations with Leewee, Chloe, and Jamie came up as well. I wasnt going to get drunk but, well, I did. Antony and myself have said thats it for a little while. We both cant do it anymore.

Fun day though..loved it!!

Day 3 Part 1

The reason that I'm listening to The Trooper again is that I've finally learnt how to play the fiddley bit in it. It makes the song, and that gallopy riff....dear god..cant help headbanging as it drives along......................

Anyway, welcome to Day 3 of my holiday.Now considering how much drink I threw down my neck last night, I feel remakably good today. Tell you the truth though, I didnt feel the least bit drunk last night. I must remember not to drink Jack Daniels though, as reading through last night's entry, it appears I got a bit depressed. Oh well, it has to come out I suppose, and what better place to do it than here for the damn world to read. I wonder if I could become a record holder for being the first person to have a break down on line!!! HaHa

Ive got to go and pick my car up from Antony's as I left it there last night and walked home. I NEVER drink and drive. To kill 2 birds with one stone, I'm going to take the dogs with me for the long walk. That way they will sleep the rest of the day. Antony and me have made some loose plans for today, but I really feel like having some heavy music on and just playing along on my guitar.

Right back to The Trooper!!

Saturday, 15 January 2005

Day2 Part 2

Its bee  a long long day. I went to Antony's at 12.30 and spent sometine talking to his Mum and Dad, who are loverly people. Later on in the afternoon, we decided that it was a little to late to go to London, so we decided to got to Maidstone instead. We thought this was going to be a simple train journey.... WRONG!!!!..The fucking trains were'nt running properly and we had to get 1 train and 2 busses to get there. We met up with Leewee and Cloe half way there, for some drinks. After that we decided to come home and go to the gay club, we sspent a couple of hours in there, and Antony looked really happy and was having such fun. It got me thinking a lot and got me a little sad. I love him soooo much and I want us to be together.

I walked him home to make sure he was ok, then I walked myself home and so i sit here writting this....

I think ive written this before as part of my funeral music thing, but im going to do it again anyway.

This is for Antony..

I love every second, as long as you are on my mind,

Every moment has its special charm,

Its alright when your around rain or shine

I know a man who works the night shift

Fells lucky to get a job and some pay

And I like every minute of the day.

Day 2 part 1

Ive just got up and dont feel to bad this morning. Antony and myself have just spokwn on the phone and he is goin to come over here to meet me and to see the dogs. Then we are going for dinner and to work out what we are going to do. Its raining and Antony hasn't got much money so London might be off the cards. We'll find something else to do though. I 'll let you know later!!!

Friday, 14 January 2005

Day 1 part 2

The rehearsals went quite well. I learnt 5 songs from scratch today, which wasnt bad, but im still bricking it.

I hope tomorrow goes well. Im so afraid something is going to go wrong..I hope it doesnt.

Holiday..Day 1

I had a good lie in this morning. It feels like a Saturday, it hasn't quite hit me yet. Ive just got out the bath amd im just getting ready to go to Lee's with my drum kit to have a go at this Bugsy Malone thing. Im bricking it a bit as I really dont think I can do it. I cant believe he wants me to learn the whole lot by next Saturday!! Oh well, I'll let you know later what happens.

Thursday, 13 January 2005

Holiday on!!

Well it's holiday time again!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!!. Work was a doddle today as well,we ate loads of stolen chocolate and crisp's. Antony phoned me and was in a very happy mood. He has his parents visiting him on Saturday morning and he asked me if I would like to go round for some lunch with him and them before we go out. Of course I said yes!!! We made some little arrangements, ( well he told me actually!! ) about what was going to happen on Saturday, and they all sound good. When we ended the call, I was driving around work with a big smile on my face. It was so nice to talk to him and to hear him laughing, it really made me feel good. Craig noticed this and was taking the piss out of me. what else can i plan?....................

Last day

Last working day before my holiday, and its payday!! I doubt very much weather i'll be doing much at work today. We've got the good managers on today who dont give a shit, so that should be cool.

Lee rang me last night and he wants me to take my drums to his new house so that he can teach me how to play Bugsy Malone!! He's doing a show next week and has just decided that he needs a drummer!! Nice. Now, my normal style of drumming is more heavy / thrash metal,and I very much doubt that Bugsy Malone has any of that in it. My mate who came to see me play the other week told me it sounds like i'm hitting the snare drum with a hammer because it was so loud!! I call it my club hand. I must admit aswell that I have no idea how any of the music goes for it. Im presuming that its all 40's 50's jazz music. Not my strong all!!  After that we are going to the pub for a kareoke evening. Antony will be at work, so it gives me something to do.

Speaking of Antony ( as I so often do! ) I got a text from him yesterday asking what we could do on Saturday. His friend Lee ( cracking bloke! ) is coming with us, so Ant was just looking for ideas. I came up with going to London in the afternoon and having a look in a few shops and perhaps take in a few gay bars while we are there..rude not to!. Strangely, Lee ( cracking bloke! ) came up with more or less the same idea. So that is what we are going to do. Im really looking forward to it, hope the weather stays dry. Sunday may well become a day of rest..depends how pissed I get Friday and Saturday nights.

Before I forget, its my nephew's 15th birthday today so,

Happy Birthday Jake!!

Right..time for food

Wednesday, 12 January 2005

Not long now!!

Its a loverly sunny day today. Its in total contrast to yesterday when it was absoulutly pissing it down when I went to work. I got to bed fairly early last night aswell, so I feel quite good this morning. Ive only got today and tomorrow and then I'm on holiday again...yes again! This is my realaxing holiday after all the rushing around of December. I know that next Friday that I've been offered to play with that band again. The drummer spoke to me about him doing one half of the set and me doing the other. Sounds like a good idea to me!! I asked him if I could play guitar on a couple of songs aswell and he said that should be ok. So im looking forward to that!! I need to get my wrist's into action again!!!....dont be rude.............

Tuesday, 11 January 2005

Done shit all!!

Ive done shit all at work today, apart from take the piss!! I hate winding down before a holiday as it really drags along. Cant wait till Friday though. I think ive got another weekend with Antony, I dont think that Jamie is coming up. I know Antony said that he isnt working this weekend. I might take him food shopping if he wants to go. Its always fun.He gets the stuff and I just push the trolley saying..Yes dear! everything he says. We're like an old married couple sometimes!

Needless to say, I didnt get to wank this morning, so Im going to do it now....What was the name of that site again........?

New colour

Well, I hope you like the new colours of the journal. I thought it was time for a change. Ive just been reading Larry's blog and he said that he's been doing this for a year now. I wish that I had found the journals earlier so that I could have wriiten about how I was feeling this time last year. I was very sick indeed, I could barely breath or eat anything and I had lost loads of weight. Looking back now, and knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have fought the pnuemonia for as long as I did, and gone to hospital earlier. My doctor told me that it would clear up but it would take time, so I left it....bad move. But hey ho!! We live and learn.

Im a tired little bunny this morning, I think the exploits of the weekend..well sunday night...have finally caught up with me. That plus I'm on a bit of a holiday wind down from work. Only a couple of more days to go.Yippeee. This is the last holiday now that I have until probably June or July. I always have my holiday then as the bastard kids are still in school and the weather is nice. The last couple of years ive got a stunning suntan without leaving my garden!! Well, there and park where all the army squaddies go...with they're tops off and shorts on.........hmmmmmmmm.

Right time to take the dogs for a walk and some breakfast..and  maybe just maybe....A wank!!!

Monday, 10 January 2005

I wonder who this is about?

If ever words were spoken

Painful and untrue

I said I loved you but I lied

In my life all I wanted

Was the keeping of someone like you

As it turns out deeper within me

Love got twisted and pointed at you.

-Never ending pain


You keep this love thing, love child , love toy!

You keep this love fist, love scar,love break!

You keep this love!


Id been tempted one

He stole me for himself

This gift in pain his pain is life

And sometimes I feel so sorry

I regret this, the hurting of you

But you make me so unhappy

I'd take myself, and leave love with you


You keep this love thing, love child, love toy

You keep this love fist, love scar,love break

You keep this love



It gets better!!!

The ongoing saga of last night..... Antony got me on m.s.n. this morning to ask if I could ring his phone as he could'nt find it, I pointed out to him that I had  it and really didnt know why. Well, he asked me to check for messages, and there was one from his work mate Lee ( cracking bloke! ) It read...Dont worry I have your door keys!!! So.. Ive ended up with his phone and Lee ( cracking bloke! ) has his keys!!! ha ha. I told Antony this and he could'nt believe it. He wanted to go back to bed, so I said id drop his phone off on my way to work. I phoned Lee ( cracking bloke! ) and he said he was working the same shift as Antony and he would take them to work for him. It could only happen to Antony!! I love him though xxx !!

Anyway.. I went round to see him and we both looked like shit. I think we really both needed to throw a sickie and just lay about all day in a darkened room.I feel better now though thank god.

Today was amazingly shit at work. I was working with a hottie though, so the day had its perks!!

I feel sick

I feel really hungover and sick this morning. Antony and myself went shopping and had a good look round the shops, then I dropped him off home so that he could have some dinner and so could I. We met up later in the evening and went to the gay bar, it was quiet to start with but it soon picked up. We met his friends Lee  (  cracking bloke! ) and Cloe there. Well lets just say that the drink was flowing very well and i ended up on a mission!! I sang 3 songs again, and Antony sang one. We were all chatting and it was a really good evening.At the end of it i carried ( literally!! ) Antony home and put him to bed. Somehow though Ive managed to come home with his mobile phone.I think he dropped it and I picked it up and put it in my pocket and totally forgot I had it until I got home.So at sometime today i'll have to drop it round to him.

Still..I had a really good weekend. Ive really enjoyed myself with Antony, even though I do feel like shit this morning..haha

I love you baby!!! xxxxxx

Sunday, 9 January 2005


Im in a really good mood today, and I mean a REALLY good mood. Ive just got up and done the 3 S's ( shit, shower, shave ) and i'm ready for the day. I'm taking my Mum shopping in a little while, then i'm going with Antony to a big shopping center ( the biggest one in Europe!! ) to do a little totty shopping. Which means looking at lads!!. Tonight we are going to the kareoke again, so I wonder what he will get me to sing? He sung Rhinestone Cowboy last week...well funny. off to take the dogs out.

Saturday, 8 January 2005

Fucking top notch day!!!

What a fucking fantastic day ive had!!! I did all my chores round the house that needed doing, the I went into Chatham to do some shopping. I got myself the new Iron Maiden single and a new watch because I fucked my old one up on new years day..great start!!.

After shopping I went to Antony's house to see him. He was well and looking really nice in the clothes he had on. He had been given a webcam that he could'nt get to work, so I took him to P.C.World and got him a new one ( Arent I nice?!! ). We went next door to the big pet shop and looked at the bunnies ( I can see us having one someday ) than we  went home to sort the cam thing out. Got it sorted..job done.

We both wanted to go out, but could'nt decide what to do, so we went to see Antony's mate Lee ( cracking bloke ) and he was going out with his girlie, so on the spir of the moment, me and my boy went to the pub. Tonight we went to about 3 different straight pubs. I have to tell you that it was the most fun ive had in ages. It was very relaxed, with no pressure at all, and we chatted all evening about various stuff. It was really great. I was driving so I didn't drink, which for me is a minor miracle.

After all that, I took him home and we had some food, then I came home. So i'm off to bed to get ready for tomorrow's adventures. I cant wait!!

Night all..

P.S. Download this song im listening to..Pantera- Fucking wont like, but its some idea as to what i love in my music.. Ant dont do'll hate it!!!

P.P.S. I love you Antony!!!

I dont think im in Kansas anymore.

Its really fucking windy today..I mean REALLY fucking windy!! Ive just nearly hung myself on the washing line whilst trying to hang a sheet out. Ive a lot to do today before I go out later, the boys want walking, the sheets need changing, i need to eat, the washing needs getting in.....oh...a womans work is never done!!! I keep getting distracted by my guitar aswell which doesn't help. Ive got a Black Sabbath dvd on and i keep playing along to it.

Right..the sooner I get all this shit sorted out..the sooner I can go all.

Friday, 7 January 2005

Dull Friday

I had the pleasure of working with Captain Charisma at work today. Kevin is o.k., but a bit lacking on the personality side. Im sure if you dig down far enough you can find a sence of humour in there. Mind you.. he does support Arsenal so that might be the reason!! ( sorry Ant xxxx ) I was trying to have a laugh with him and he was having none of it... so i gave up!!! Thankfuly Craig was in , so we had a little wind up on Bob the Builder, which he took badly, which made it more funny! We  wrapped his locker up with 2 reals of shrink wrap.Childish I know...but fun!!

McDonalds have been doing a 2 for 1 deal and today was Big Mac day!! Hooorraaahhh!! So ive just stuffed my face with 2 Big Macs and some fries...well...some of the fries were for the dogs.....THEY WERE.. HONEST!!!

Mr.B appears to have skived off work and gone to the pub!!! How rude!! He knows I dont like going out on a Friday night after ive finished work. The time ive come home and got ready and got myself to Secreations....sorry Secrets..its late and i want to go to bed...and sleep ( rude people!! )

So im going to have a few Stella's then a quick wank, then Im going to myself..with the dogs.. ready for what Mr.B has instore for me tomorrow.

Night all...............

My boy left a message!!!

My boy left a message!!! I cant tell you how happy I was when I fired up the machine this morning and found the message from him. Warms the heart I must say!!

Anyway.. I had a hospital appointment yesterday and all went well. I had to have more blood taken as the last lot had heamotised!? ( clotted basically, some cunt in the lab had left it out to long ) I thought that my blood had turn to alchahol..for some reason.. cant think why.

Fuck its Friday!!! Ive only done a 4 day week so I think its still Thursday. What a result. No doubt that Antony will get me drunk sometime over the weekend! ( Bet you do!! ) Im going to try some new songs for the kareoke this Sunday, Im starting to enjoy singing, although im not really a good singer. Wanker yes..singer no!!

Right, im going to eat some food ( got a loverly cheese and spring onion french stick from Toni Lorenzo's ) then Im going to mentally prepair for work.. i.e. Switch off

Laters people...


I love you Mr B. xxxxxxxx

Wednesday, 5 January 2005

I think its time for a holiday

Right all.. we are having a 3 minute silence today in our country to pay respect to the people who died in the tidal wave thing. Its happening at mid-day so ive got to be quick with this and taking the dogs out. If you country's ( where ever you are in the world ) not having one, have a word with with your councillors to get it to happen.

Well, shit all happened at work yesterday, as we are really quiet after christmas. A lot of the shops have still got a lot of stock left over, so they are not ordering much. This suits me, as it means I dont have to work to hard. I thought about it and decided I need to take a week off, so I'm going to book it when I get to work. I'll text Antony when I do to see if he can get some time off aswell.. all for good clean fun.

Right i'm off...remember the silence!!!

Tuesday, 4 January 2005

hmmm Back to work

Sunday must have been a good night as i still feel shitty!! Excellent!! Im going to leave the beer alone now until next Sunday when im going back out with Antony and his work mates. Yesterday I took him to work , and he was having a moan about his boyf, Jamie..I just laughed..I know how he feels.

I popped to see my new mate who lives in south London. As predicted it was a shit to find. I think this is mainly because i was read the map he sent me the wrong way round....Twat!!!! Still..had fun though... ( nothing rude!!! )

I got a text from Antony asking if I could go and pick him up after work as he could'nt get home, so I raced back from London and got him. I didnt mind as I would hate for him to walk home at that time of the night. I was just after midnight and its a long walk from his work to his house. I do worry about him so much....

Monday, 3 January 2005

Monday Morning

Im nursing the mother off all hangovers again. I went out with Antony and some of his work friends to the gay club. It was Kareoke night, and I got up ( drunk!! ) and sung I believe in a thing called love, by The Darkness. For those of you who dont know them.( You Americans ) they are a cross between Queen and AC/DC. The singer can sing very high and i managed to do it!! I was well impressed, and so was everybody else. Still..i feel very sick today, but I haven't got to go to work so I can at least take it easy.

 Im going to meet a new friend tonight..and Im really looking forward it. its not to far away from me, but its going to be a bit of a shit to find I think.. Oh well!!!

Sunday, 2 January 2005


Well the new year is in and here's to the start of new adventures. I was sick on the steps of the police station again. This is becoming habit forming, i must find a new way to walk home from the pub, next time they might arrest me!!.

Ive got a few days off, so Im going to catch up with a few people that I haven't seen for ages, and generally relax.

So thats what im off to do!!