Thursday, 27 April 2006


Hopefully I'm going to get tickets to go and see Twisted Sister. I never got chance the first time round as I was too young. Fucking great fun band. You Cant Stop Rock And Roll!!


Tuesday, 25 April 2006

Shitty semi Celebrities!!

On yet another route I had around London that I had last night, I had a delivery just by the Albert Bridge in the very posh Battersey Park area. I had sorted out the goods and was just making my way to the door of the appartment buildings, when the concierge came running out. Now as a foot note, I dont have much time for concierge, as I've found that 90% of them are jumped up little wankers who put far to much importance on they're jobs. The only one I do like is the bloke at Spice Court at Tower Bridge, the blokes a diamond and very helpfull. Anyway, this concierge come out and is saying I have to hurry up the ramp. I naturally took my time just to piss him off. He was saying that a celebrity was coming down the hall and wouldn't want to see a delivery boy and would complain ( I'm 33..I pointed this out ) Now my mind was racing, who could it be, royalty, a rock It was Paula Wilcox, who was semi famous in the 70's!!!

My customer services went right out the window, I looked at her, then looked back at the concierge and said " Well dont she have anything delivered then? " I thought she was going to explode, but I gave her my best " Whatever love " look and toddled off. Who the fuck does she think she is. I happened to see her again as I was putting the empty crates back in my van. She looked at me and I mouthed snotty cow at her.

So anyway, I'm fully expecting to get the sack today for being rude. I couldn't give a shit who they are, they are no better than me.

On other notes. Antony bless him has been working nights, so I've not had chance to see him much. I went over to see Craig and Bridget and Ant went to work on Sunday night. Craig was bitching that he had to work 3 nights this week, so I told him that he was quite welcome to do my job for me and I would do his. He gets every Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. I would kill for that. Anyway, we had a good chat about stuff and arranged a good couple of days out for the four of us. I think we are going to a zoo on Monday, and looking at trips to Blackpool and stuff. I need to start thinking about a holiday aswell.



Sunday, 23 April 2006

For Antony

I cant always say how I feel, but this does it well enough.


I've been down this road once or twice before

Through the open door

I come falling through it

There's a sign post up ahead

Like a watershed

And it opens my eyes

Ways for me to begin

To be born again

and knowing for the first time

Ways, all so differently

Shine for me to see

The better man that I am


I've been places in my head

Behind me worse than whats ahead

And on my path just like a dream

Takes from me the inbetween

From out of nowhere you came strong as stone

And now I know i'll never have to be alone

What it is I know


You will always be my safe home

I walk, I run, I burn out into you

You have always been my safe home

My whole life has moved on.


I know what I am and what you'll always be

My reality is better than I could dream

All my fears turn from black to white

And I'll stand and fight

The whole world for you

Destiny I never did believe

My only god is love and faith

What I see in you and I can hold it true

Like a weight in my hand

Saturday, 22 April 2006

Ok Then!!

Ok then here we go. JMO Queen wont know who this is ( it was most of last year really ) but Mr B ( Antony ) and me are now OFFICIALY together. He is such a huge part of my life, more than Lee was really, and Im so happy were have got here. I really want to build on it and make us both happy. I'm so happy its unreal. I love him to bits, and I really mean that!!

Thursday, 20 April 2006

Still not going to say!!

I still cant say what is going on, but tings are good!! I'm very happy at the way things are going, and small tentative steps are being made in the right direction to what could be total happiness.

I'm happy...very happy indeed!! More soon

Sunday, 16 April 2006

Happy Easter Bitch!!

Happy fucking Easter my arse! Get a phone call this morning..lee " Hello happy easter can you come round I want to talk to you?" Stewart" Yeah course I can, you ok?" Lee " Yeah im ok i just need to talk to you".

So I goes round there at 1 oclock and get. " I'm really sorry but this isnt working its over"

Fucking nice one, easter sunday and i get dumped!! I know I cant really moan as i done it last year, but i worked my bollox off to make it work.

Anyway, this afternoon was very cool indeed, things have happened that im very pleased about and is totally coll and what ive wanted for a long time. More soon.

Welcome to the fucked up world of me, hang on its going to be a bumpy ride, but if things work out the way they seem to be going,it going to be a good one.


Saturday, 15 April 2006

Job Hunt

I've been appying for jobs like a mad man this week, well 3 to be precise. Two driving jobs that are day work and not evenings, and a job as a runner working in a post production studio in London, and this studio is owned by Iron Maidens record company. How cool would that be if got that job!!

I was amazingly pissy at work yesterday. 13 drops and 11 of them were flats, and we're not just talking ordinary flats, these are the penthouses on the Thames that you can park anywhere near and have to drag all this shit about. To top my mood off, some jumped up fucking woman said to me QUOTE " Why should I lug my shopping about when I can pay someone like you to do it for me " UN QUOTE.That really really pissed me off, after I'd lugged her £200 shopping up 2 flights of stairs and up 7 floors in a lift. How I didn't tell her to fuck off I will never know.

Anyway I did see the very good looking Tim Vincent from TV yesterday. hmmm

Saturday, 8 April 2006

feeling odd

I  feel A bit odd tonight.Yes im drunk, but isnt that when I let my heart pour out ay? I've been up for hours, as last night after the gig, I had such bad tinitus in my ears I could'nt sleep so I've been awake for a day and a half. I'm feeling very guilty for some reason.

I feel guilty for feeling so well,

Im feeling guilty for loving 2 people at the same time.

I feel guilty for having a nice car and enough money in the bank to tide me over when others are struggleing.

I feel guilty for having a job when others haven't and not being totaly happy with it.

I miss my old job so badly. I miss my old friends so much. I never thought it would be this bad. I still see Craig a lot, but I miss Rob. I haven't seen him since he left. Craig and Rob meant so much to me at Safeways, and I never thought it would end, but it has and I feel lost.

I cant seem to find what I want to do with my life.

Friday, 7 April 2006

Gig On

Tonight I've got a gig on. This is the first one for ages, and i'm bricking it a bit. I've sorted all my drums out and I've just got to remember everything. This time I must remember to tape up my hands to avoid the blisters that I got last time.

I've been off all week, just chilling out and catching up with some people that I haven't seen for a while. I've also became very good at online poker. Only play money though, not real stuff.

There's so many gigs this year that I just cant afford to go to them all. I'm going to the Foo Fighters and Motorhead in Hyde Park, and I really want to catch Twisted Sister if I can. Of course we will do Motorhead and Status Quo at christmas. Hopefully health will be good within the Quo camp this year, and the gigs will go ahead.

Well I've got to go and prepair for mine. I hope they have my rider sorted and they have taken all the blue M&M's