HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL
I HOPE THAT YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT TIME TONIGHT, AND THAT ALL YOU ALL HAVE A STUNNING YEAR AHEAD! XX
Its been a tough couple of days. A desition was made yesterday that was my of making, and it was right, but it broke my heart in two. I spent most of yesterday crying, but I know its right, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I've found like I'm a Jeckell and Hyde charictor. I'm very bright and up some moments, but I have a very very dark side. I never seem to be a happy medium, I'm eaither very happy or very depressed. I sometimes feel like I'm the life and sole of the party, but I'm dying of loneliness on the inside. What I really want I cant have, and it kills me.
Well fucking ho ho ho! I wake up on christmas morning with the mother of a sore throat. Great a christmas cold. It didn't ruin the day though, it was really fun being with the family, and I enjoyed cooking dinner for everyone. I got frightfully drunk though!!
Boxing day I went to Antony's sister's house for some nibbles. It was good round there as I got to play with they're kids toys, and that infuriating Buzz game, which I lost. We went for drinks down the Riverside in the evening, it was fucking dead though, I think the poor old queens couldn't handle another night out. I think we are going there on new years eve. They are having a punk goes camp evening. Now I know the DJ very well ( not that well though!! ) and he told me its going to be cheesy camp tunes mixed with Mcfly and Green Day stuff. Sounds like fun to me.
I've done fuck all the rest of the week, as this cold has been pissing me off, I'm sure I've got manfluenza!
I'm feeling particulaly festive this year for some reason. I think its because I've actually got some proper time off as opposed to the ( think yourself gratefull! ) 2 days that we used to get a Safeways. It was good aswell this year not to be in the retail buisness and have to work like a trooper for the whole of December. Saying that, I've have taken a huge amount of stuff out this week, with one place having 81 box's, which is a lot when the average is about 5 per school, so I've done my graft this week.
Friday night we had our christmas party at a hotel in Maidstone. It was a great night out, but I was a little apprehensive first off and I really dont know why, thats very unlike me. The meal was loverly, but I have to say that it wasn't enough for me, I could have eaten it all again. Now I know that makes me sound like a fat bloater but I can assure you that I'm still under 12 stone and in a size 32 trouser witha belt thank you very much!!! I got pleasently drunk, but was in total control of what I was doing and remember everything, which is suprising concidering how much brandy I had drunk. The funniest part was the last slow dance when it started with me dancing with Jane and Julia dancing with Gavin, then Gavin and me swapped partners, then we swapped again mid song so Julia and Jane were slow dancing together and so were Gavin and Me!! I'm sure everyone else at work think that there is some strange bi sexual swapping going on..it was well worth the looks on they're faces and it will keep the gossip machine going for a few months.
I finished off all my christmas shopping yesterday with the hangover from hell no helping one bit. It was a bastard nightmare and I gave up in the end and came home. I got Antony something, but I was going to get some little bits for his neice and nephew, and i really didn't have a clue, so I just cuddled up with the dogs in front of the fire wit the dogs and watched The Muppet Christmas Carol..great film.
Today I've got to go and see my Dad, which is something I always love doing ( NOT! ) and I'm going to pop and see my Nan and Craig and Bridget. I'm not going to drink today either, as I dont want to feel ill tomorrow and ruin my dinner, which I have to cook. All the family are going to my sister's so it will be a good family day...I'm really looking forward to it.
I doubt I will post tomorrow so I will do this now.
I hope you all have a really good and peacefull christmas and that Santa comes and empties his sack for you!!!
Thank you for all you messages on my birthday, I love you all! The day went really well. Antony and me went into London and hit the West End bars with gay abandon. I dont remember much but I do remember getting amazingly drunk and sleeping on the train on the way home and nearly missing my stop.
We didn't do much on Thursday as we were both to hungover. I've not done much for the rest of the week actually, just chilled out a lot. I'm back to work in the morning, I dont know how much work I've got to do, so I'm setting a bet with myself about how pissed off I will be at 8.15 tomorrow morning. 1 will be good, 10 will be steaming.
I've only got this week, then I've got christmas and New Year off, so it wont be that bad. I've got to wrap my prezzies up and write the cards yet. I've still got to get something for Antony and his parents ( who I love ) and shit. I'm going down to his sisters with his parents and him on boxing day. I'm really looking forward to it.
Remember " Some days your the pigeon , some days your the statue "
Well I'm now 34 and I dont feel a day over 40!! Ha Ha. No seriously. I've not felt this well for ages, physically and mentally, and my weight is 11stone 10, which is even better than I thought. Everything was good at the hospital yesterday, the results were good and everything seemd to have stabalised after being i'll a couple of months ago.
I'm just getting ready to go out today, wish the weather was better though. Its very cloudy and looks like rain..oh well
Well, I spent most of Saturday with Antony doing stuff ( shopping!! ) then we went into Maidstone for a few sherberts in town, then onto Janes birthday bash. It was a good night with a live band playing. I dont know what they were called and to be honest I cant remember what they played, but they were ok. I got quite drunk ( as did Antony! ) but thankfully I didn't feel as shitty as him the day after. I dont think I made to much of a twat of myself, could be wrong though!!
I'm on holiday this week, mainly because its my birthday on Wednesday and I've never had it off before ( i'm still talking about my birthday! ) We are going into London for the day I think, have a bit of dinner and a few drinks. Should be good.
I've got hospital in the morning. This is the first time I've been back since I was ill the other month. I've kept my weight down, I'm about smack on 12 stone and I've not looked or felt this good in ages. I hope he dont piss on my bonfire tomorrow! Ha Ha
Craig, Bridget and me went on a little sorte over to France on the ferry on Saturday, and the crossing was fucking rough!! Big waves, and I thought I was going to honk up at one point, but thankfully I didn't. We went to the City de Europe and hit duty free shopping with a vengence. I brought home a load of beer and wine for christmas, at a fraction of the price we pay for it over here...Taxed to death we are!!
On Sunday I went for a drive to London with Antony, and we had a loverly Sunday roast in a bar overlooking the Thames and St Pauls Cathedral. It was great apart from some fucking drunk camp queen that liked the sound of his own voice. He was making my shit itch, and I kept throwing the tables funny looks, bad of me I know, but it didn't distract from the good time I had, and loverly meal.
Its been pissing down for the last couple of days, and windy today. It makes working outside so much fun! I've got next week off holiday, mainly for my birthday (its on Wednesday!!) and just to have a little rest. Its Janes borthday on Saturday so we are going out to watch a rock band in her local pub. I'm looking forward to it...should be fun.