Friday, 31 December 2004

Another year done!

Well that's 2004 nearly done with, and what a year it was. With pneumonia and being told i was about to die, which was quite scary,and all the HIV and diabetes and the 6 months of recovery off of work, its been ok really. Its been a year of a lot of soul searching and and re-evaluating my life. Im still not totally over it all yet, but in getting there. So here's to 2005, it can only get better......

Happy New Year to you all..................

Wednesday, 29 December 2004

Nothing Much

Nothing really much is going on at the moment, it alway's a bit of a lull after christmas and no ones really sure what is going on. So I wont go on. Im watching Motorhead on bbc2 anyway.

Tuesday, 28 December 2004

Back to work

Oh well christmas is over for me, back to work today. Its been a fun christmas, and ive been relaxed ( and drunk ) through most of it. Sounds like heaven to me!!

Monday, 27 December 2004

Drunk again!!!

Those of you that dont have the Live Aid dvd i urge you to go out and get it, not only to help the dying people in Africa, but to realise just what a fucking seriously great group Queen were. The stole the show big time. In contrast, The Who ( who I love ) sucked donkey bollocks big time. They were very under rehearsed and it showed. You could see that Pete Townshend didnt want to be there.

I remember on Live Aid day that I was 13, and i was at a school fete. I watched the opening hour or so, then went up the school. I ran home about 5.30 to watch Queen's set. I was sat on our sofa with my Mum, just so in awe of what I was watching on the tv. They were so powerfull as a band. I will never forget that day as long as I live. Along with the day that i was at Queen's last ever concert with Freddie Mercury at Knebworth park.

Its funny how some things make a lasting impression on you..I remember it like it was yesterday and it was 19 years ago!!!

All together now...

Weeee are the champions... my friends!!!

Sunday, 26 December 2004

Boxing Day

Its a loverly frosty morning and it looks really christmassy today. Some parts of the country have had snow over the last couple of days, so that has topped it off for them. Im just going to have a quiet day today, after all the eating and drinking of yesterday, I need to have a rest. Mind you, i'm not working tomorrow either.

Have a fun day all!!!

Saturday, 25 December 2004

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas One and all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, 24 December 2004

Cryptic Writings #23

Cant you see I'm easily bothered by persistance?

One step from lashing out at you

You want in to get under my skin and call yourself a friend

I've got more friends than you, what do I do?


Is there no standard anymore?

What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong

You cant be something your not,

Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me

A lesson learned in life, known from the dawn of time,


Re, spect, walk

What do you say?

Re,spect, walk

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?


Run your mouth when I'm not around, it's easy to achieve

You cry to weak friends I sympathize,

Can you here the violins playing your song?

Those same friends tell me your every word


Are there no standards anymore?

No way punk!!

Walk on old boy!!

Christmas Eve!!!

What a result.We got let out of work three and a half hours early!! Ive just been to see my dad and step mum,and dropped cards at my sisters house's. Now all there is to do is have a bath, grab something to eat and get myself down the pub!

So here's wishing you all a great christmas, and I hope everyone enjoys themselves!!

Thursday, 23 December 2004

Thursday morning

Well it's nearly here,only 2 more days to go.I hope you have all have your crimbo shopping done and are ready to eat drink and be merry. Its gone potty at work. We are shipping stuff out by the pallet load. It'll be mad this week and next week, then it will die a death.Not much is really happening at the moment, and I seem to be on some even keel as well, not much is really bothering me.I spoke to my Antony VERY early this morning, just before I went to bed, and he told me something I wanted to hear, which was good.

Im off to do my last minute prezzie wrapping and card writting, then I'm off to work.

Tuesday, 21 December 2004


Yesterday was a real tough day at work. I was in no frame of mind to be driving a forklift around.I managed to get through with loads of coffee breaks and stolen chocolate. I went to see my mate Dale after work, and he has thrown himself into christmas, he has no tree and no decorations up!! Miserable bastard!! I cant believe its christmas day on Saturday, it just feels like a normal week to me. Ive got so much to do aswell.Ive got to wrap all the presents up and bye some christmas cards.I can see me doing it on christmas eve when i come home from work.

At least this year I am well and I will be able to enjoy it. Last year I was in the grips of pneumonia and wasn't in very good shape. Ho hum...we live and learn.

Monday, 20 December 2004

Demon Alchahol

Words can not express how shit i feel today. I have a monster wait..I think im still drunk!!! I went out clubbing with Antony last night with the intention of not getting to pissed up..well I didnt....until I got home and thought it would be a good idea to carry on drinking. I got into a conversation with Larry and Njlb about english slang words again. The more drunk I got, the ruder i was getting. Fuck knows what they think of me now!!! Rude disgusting english cunt!!!!

Im going to try and sort myself out before work....dear god..this is going to be a tough day!!!

Sunday, 19 December 2004

The Morning after the gig

Well I had the gig last night and things didn't go to bad. There were a couple of ropey moments but on the whole it went well. I cocked up the solo to Wont get fooled again, but managed to blag my way out of it. Today my ears are ringing and my hands are sore as hell, ive got blister's on my fingers. Im not going to do much today as im tired. Imagine what its like doing it every day!!!!

Friday, 17 December 2004

Friday Night

Ive had a very hectic last couple of days,playing and listening to the songs for tomorrow. I went to the music shop this morning and got some new drum skins and sticks. Thirty four fucking pounds they cost me!!!! Dear mother of god!!. Its beena while since I brought things for my kit, now i know why.

Im really looking forward to tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it all goes.

Wednesday, 15 December 2004


My own rehearsals are going ok for the gig on Saturday. Ive got to get some more drum skins on Friday and change them, and ive got to do some general cleaning of the kit. There are a few people from work coming to watch, which will be nice. I hopeing that Antony and Jamie come, but Ant might be working. He's been working a lot lately and I really miss him and his cheeky smile. Still, I wont let it get me down...its nearly christmas for fucks sake!!!!

Tuesday, 14 December 2004

Rainy Tuesday

Thankfully yeasterday wasn't to bad at work. My mate Dave nicked me a box of chocolates so I scoffed those all day. It was very cold though. I got a text from Antony to say happy birthday, and I got a text from my neice Terri and my nephew Paul, they were really nice to get. Plus also a big thank you to NJLB for the loverly e card that he sent me....i really made me laugh and was so true!!

I started to learn some of the songs for the gig yesterday. I tried the harder ones first..I must admit that I'm a bit scared..but it'll be ok...............I hope!!!!!!!

Monday, 13 December 2004


Well its my 32nd birthday today, and I dont feel a day over 40 !!!. Ive got a few cards this morning, including a shock one from my Dad. I have'nt really spoken to him much this year, but it was nice to get a card.To top it off he actually wrote it, and not my wicked witch of the west step mother. Lee got me Motorhead dvd that I haven't got, and my Mum got me a Motorhead and Venom t shirt.Ive got my Venom one on now. Unfortunatly, I still have to go to work today..but never mind.

Sunday, 12 December 2004

The day after yesterday

I have finally recovered from last night.I was going to add an entry when i came in last night, but i could'nt see the screen. I went to see Antony yesterday afternoon. He was a little hungover bless him, but he was really funny. I love him to bits.

Well anyway, I went to the pub last night and got right royally hammered. I was drinking double brandy and coke all night, and managed to talk utter bullshit all night.I walked back to Lee's to get my prezzy and then tried to get home. I do remember being sick over the railing's outside the local police station. I bet they have it on cctv the bastards. I dont remember much about getting home after that. I was sick again when I got in, then I went to bed.

This morning my mouth was as dry as a nun's cunt and I felt like shit on a stick. I slowly got myself into the world and took my dogs for a walk. I had a good chat with Larry this morning, He wanted to know what some of the english phrases i use mean. ( you americans!!!! ) so I told him some of the rude ones and he was happy with that.

Ive spent the rest of the day pretty much doing nothing!!

Friday, 10 December 2004

The cold fights back

My cold has come back with a passion..I feel like absolute shit. And it's my Birthday on Monday!!! Fucking great

Thursday, 9 December 2004

holy fuck!!

Ive just read on AOL news that guitarist Dimbag Darrel has been shot dead!! What the fuck!!? Ok..I was never a real hardcore Pantera fan , but this guy was a seriously heavy player and came up with some monsterous riffs. Its shit that something like this happens just because Pantera split up and he formed another band. Apparantly this nut just walked onto the stage and shot him 3 times at point blank range in the head then started shooting into the audiance...what a cunt!!



Well christmas dinner was very nice really, which was something of a surprise to all of us. I ate far to much really and could have done with a nap afterwards.I had a bit of a late night really, as I had to be up at 7.30 this morning. Well, I got up at 8 so it was close. I went to pick Lee up as he was coming to the hospital with me as we had to fill in some questionaire or something. It was early, I wasnt in a good mood and it took me 45 minutes to drive 2 miles.Needless to say, I wasn't a happy camper by the time i got there. I had my check and all seems to be fine still, which is good, Ive got to go back next month for another check, then after that it should be 2 months all going well.

Right ive got to go to shit work

Wednesday, 8 December 2004


I felt like I was getting a cold yesterday, courtisy of Craig, but it appears to have come to nothing thank god. It worth having all these tablets as it means I dont come down with

I still havent started practicing for the gig yet. Ive got to set my drum kit back up over the weekend and get to work on it. I downloaded the set this this morning, so I'll put them on c.d. and get cracking on it next week.

Christmas dinner today at work...that should be nice!!!! : -(

Tuesday, 7 December 2004


Im still on a bit of a buzz from last night, although my forearm muscle's are a bit tense this morning. They are not used to playing like that..more practice needed me thinks.

I spoke to Antony yesterday, i text him to see how he was after Sunday night. He was a bit pissed off as had lost £20 somewhere in the puff bar.Bless his heart, if I had any spare money this week I would give him £20 so he could get by. Love his heart, he is trying so hard, I just worry that he is going to burn himself out.

Monday, 6 December 2004

Here we go!!

Today was ok, I had a surprise practice for the gig tonight. We went through a couple of the songs that I didnt know that well. Ive got to listen to them properly over the next 2 weeks and learn them properly. I did ok tonight..i was very rusty though and it showed, but I soon loosened up as I went along. So im going to bed quite happy with myself!!!

Sunday, 5 December 2004

Pleasently Drunk

I had a quiet day today. I took Mum shopping this afternoon then after that I went to see my Grandmother who is 85 bless her. She's keeping quite well but is showing signs of wear now. Her hip is going and she has got cataracts on her eyes. Bless her she is loverly. I dont see her near as much as I should do. That can be my new years resolution.

Tonight I went out for drinks with Antony and Jamie. We only went to the local gay night club, and that was beacause Jamie wanted to go. Im becoming really fed up with the gay scene, I just dont seen to like it like I used i turning? lol. One night I want to get dressed up head to toe in the leather garb and go to a leather bar. I really dont know why, but I loved seeing Freddie Mercury in his shiny leather stuff from about the 1979 era, and Rob Halford from Judas Priest ( who is gay ) in his full leather gear. They are not my type sexually but I really love the look. I think it would suit me well and just once I would love to try it. Why the fuck dont they have gay bars that play heavy metal music? Perhaps I'm being to picky.. Perhaps I'm drunk..Perhaps I'm just a cunt?....... HA HA!!!

Still Annoyed

Im still upset this morning, but im not as bad as last night. Ive had some groveling text messages from Lee saying sorry. He does'nt normally admit he's wrong unless he thinks he is. He knows he's upset me.

Im learning Here comes the sun...great song

Saturday, 4 December 2004

Such a Cunt

Not only did Lee leave me out of his birthday celebrations until the last minute, he went and arranged something to do next Saturday night and forgot it was the only night that I was going to see him before my birthday. What a cunt!!! I cannot tell you how angry I am. I left his birthday drink after 2 hours. His friend Dan is an utter camp queen wanker, who kept having a dig at me all night, and was in grave danger of getting a good kicking from me. Lee then managed to more or less ignore me for the rest of the time i was there. I dont like being made to feel a cunt, so I left...after a row outside the pub.

I went to see Antony and Jamie who cheered me up no end. Antony has been doing to many hours and was very tired. Im so worried about him. Jamie was good tonight, he really cheered me up, I just felt like smashing something up or punching something. Im going to bed now... alone.....again


Im feeling very quiet this morning, ive only just got up so I think it might be that. Ive got a few little jobs to do today before I see Lee. I 'll phone him in a bit to say happy birthday. Ive got to go and get him a prezzy and a card down the town, and with all those christmas shoppers. This will be fun. 

Friday, 3 December 2004

Its fucking cold!!!!

Its absolutly fucking freezing tonight with a really thick ground frost. It was horrificly cold at work, and I voiced my opinion to anyone that would listen, from the management to the union reps. No fucker took any notice though, bastards.

I spoke to Antony last night, the first time ive spoken to him this week.He is good from what i can make out. It was good just to talk to him for a couple of minutes, i do miss him.

Its Lee's birthday tomorrow so I suppose i'll have to go out and get him a prezzy. Fuck knows what im going to get him.


Well yesterday started a bit shit as the car wouldn't start when I went to work, so I had to make a frantic phone call to my mate to come and get me.The battery had finally died on me and it wouldn't turn over. Sooooooooo, ive been out this morning down the town to get a new one, it wasn't badly priced at £60. but it was fucking heavy to carry home.Ive put it on the car and all is well, it started first time.

The other piece of good news, it that my new mobile phone has arrived. Its very posh but I cant work it yet. Ive done the basics, like a cool ring tone and so on. I'll take the handbook into work and learn how to use it.

Thursday, 2 December 2004


Im ever so slightly hung over this morning, damn that Belgian lager!! It feels like Monday again today, as I was off yesterday, i feels like a mini weekend. Ive only got today and tomorrow then im off again for the weekend. I like these 4 day weeks.

No parcels this morning either thank god. I went to bed quite early for me, I think it was about 12.30, and I didnt wake up until 10am, thats a long sleep for me as I normally only sleep about 5 hours a night. Im waiting for a  couple of T-shirts to come through the post. These are for my birthday that my Mum has got for me.Bless her.

Its cold and foggy this morning, I know I have to take the dogs out, but I really dont want to. Its far to cold, and if they shit it will be steaming. Not nice.

P.S. Still no phone!!

Wednesday, 1 December 2004

Wednesday evening

I must admit that I am a bit embarrassed with myself that i turned up for a church service drunk!! It was partly Lee's fault as he kept bying me pints of beer. Ok I know I could have said no..but thats just plain rude.

The service itself was a bit of a farce I think.The catholic wing was there as was the african carribean wing. They were saying what the were doing for there culture to help fight H.I.V. and aids, but there was NOT 1 person to reprosent the gay community. Not fucking 1. The word gay wasn't even mentioned. If you didnt know anything about H.I.V. and aids, you would have thought that is was a problem just for straight white women and afro carribean people. This seemed slightly surreal as there wasn't any of their people in the congregation, it was full of gay white males. Funny that isnt it? This has pissed me off to a great deal and I will be asking a few questions to my local helth authority, who had something to do with organising the event, and my local council, who kindly sent some fuckwit along to talk about something she didnt know fuck all about.!!!

I consoled myself with some extremely nice, and very strong, Belgian lager aferwards in a loverly pub called Weatherspoons. Great beer at a cheap price. I shall be visiting there more often. drunk and im going to bed...night people.

P.S. Love you and miss you Antony baby!!!


Its a dull and dreary Wednesday and its world aids day. I have my little red ribbon on for the day as do my dogs. Ive put one through they're collers. Lee and me are going to this service at Rochester cathedral tonight, ive never been before so I dont know what to expect. My h.i.v. councilor has informed me that she will be taking a hip flask full of vodka and coke along, so at least we can have a little bevvy while we are there. Then when its over its straight into the pub over the road from the cathdral for a few pint's of good wholesome real ale.

The wanker courior came at 7.45 this morning and brought the reat of my christmas parcels. There are a few things that i'm still waiting for, like a couple of computer games for the kids and a couple of personalised things for my sisters.They are coming soon by post apparantly. They fucking well want to turn up before christmas.

Because I have today off ( YAY!!! ) Im going to take the hounds out for a long run.

p.s. Still no fucking new phone!!!!!!!!!