I wrote somethings down today that are bothering me. Someone is coming to see me on Monday about having a couple of sessions on the couch,,I think I need them
Im Angry At...........
For holding me back when I was younger
For making me feel guilty
For being affraid to stand up to her
For leaving me when I was 14 years old and really needed him
For never coming to see me or phone me
For not even trying to have a relationship with me
For trying to deny that he knew I was even in hospital
For leaving me when I was ill
For controlling evrthing that I did and who I saw
For always putting me down
For not understanding me
For letting myself get this illness
Letting myself be controlled
I'm scared of people thinking I'm a failure for not coping with the illness
I'm still not coping with being the " Unconventional " gay man..liking heavy metal and the such like.
I miss the brother I never had..and would have loved to death
The feeling of always being on my own...I'm there when people want me and put to one side when they dont want me.
These are just a few things that I came up with today....I think it will help to talk to someone about it and get my head sorted