Sunday 16 January 2005

However much I booze

This is probably the most honest Ive ever been about myself...

I see myself, I'm a faker, a paper clown

It's clear to all my friends that I habitually lie

I just bring them down

I claim proneness to exaggeration

But the truth lies in my frustration

The children of the night they pass me by

I have to drown myself in brandy, in sleep I hide

 

However much I booze

There aint no way out

 

I lose so many nights of sleep worrying about my responsibities

Are the problems that screw me up

Really down to him or down to me?

My ego will just confuse me

Someday its going to up and use me

Dish me out another tailor made compliment

Tell me about some destiny I cant prevent

And however much I squirm

 

There aint no way out

 

And the night comes down like a cell door closing

Suddenly I realise that i'm writing now more honestly

While sitting here alone with a bottle and my head up floating

Far away from my conscience going on at me

 

Now the walls are clawed and scratched

In the morning i'll be hungover and detached

I'll take no blame

I just cant face my failure

I'm nothing but a well fucked sailor

You at home can easily decide whats right

By glancing at the songs I write

But it dont help me that you know

 

There aint no way out

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very Heavy Stew.....I hope you feel better getting it out...kisses

NJLB
http://journals.aol.com/njlittlebear/MyBigFatGeekLife