Yes I have it, and it isnt fun at all.Someday's arent to bad,but some days it really gets you down.You think about it everyday.No matter what.Everytime you take your tablets its there.Then you get all the little ache's and pains that go with it.The worst thing is, is knowing that you've got something inside of you that IS NOT going away and IS going to kill you one day.Its scary!!
Then you have to deal with the who do you tell,and how are they going to react to it.Ive only told a very few very close friends of mine, and luckily they've all been very supportive of me.When Ive been down and needed to chat, they have been there for me.
Also.I have to live with the knowledge that I have given this to my boyfriend.Im 31 and Ive done most of my partying and stuff, but I have to live with myself,knowing ive given this to him and he's only 24 years old.
Lee Im so sorry.If Id have known it never would have happened.Things can never be the same again. Im really finding it hard to deal with it.
Im praying to god that someone else doesn't have it. I couldn't deal with the fact that Ive given the two people I love most in this world this horrible illness.I couldn't cope with that at all.
It nearly got me just after New Year.It started with pneumonia last November, then quickly turned into p.c.p, which is the most serious type of pneumonia.It very nearly turned to AIDS and killed me then.I know how rough its going to be when the end does come.Im prepaired for it at least.
When will the end come? How long is a piece of string? I have no idea. Im living on borrowed time at the moment.It could turn in 20 years time or 20 days time..I dont know.So im playing a waiting game.
I try so hard not to let it get to me, but sometimes it does.I can be laughing and joking with people but deep down inside my heart is breaking and im so sad.What have I done to myself ?..What have I done to others?
So there you have it!!
Its not fun!!!
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