Tonight its hit me, and its hit me hard. I'm having trouble copeing with this. The only thing thats keeping me alive is tablets, and that is scaring me to death..i cant sustain my own life..chemicals are doing it for me. I'm missing the love that I really want, I'm missing the brother that was aborted and that I never had and wished for. I really need him, I would have loved to have had a younger brother to care for..his name would have been Simon...and I would have loved him.
Yes I'm drunk, and yes I'm not copeing with h.i.v. Its hit me hard tonight, I'm not the fun person that everyone thinks I am. I'm not as hard as people think I am..im dying, and Im dying inside mentally. No one understands it.
3 comments:
just wanted to say you know you are loved and a good friend to many people..no one expects you to be the tough guy all the time....if you ever need to chat you just email me or IM me and i will be right there for you.
I know this has got to be so hard for you Stew. I don't feel or understand what you're going through, however, You're alive and you can't just give up. Why don't you talk to Antony about it, maybe he can make ya feel a little better. I am here to chat if you ever need to vent. IM me anytime. Love ya bud. XOXOXOXOXO
S
Stewie, I have been living with HIV since 1998 and your right, its hard.
I almost lost my partner in 98 when he was in hospital a total of 6 weeks.
He is now doing well, but we take nothing for granted.
I have had one bout with pneumonia in 2000 and the usual nusiance illnesses.
You can cope with the disease. Please never give up.
The good news is that the tablets work. The side affects are bad sometimes, but life is never easy.
I wish you the best. You are not alone.
Big Bear hugs.
Ron
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