Im very tired tonight. Ive been really busy at work and ive been up till 3am most of this week with Antony at work, and its taken its toll on me tonight. Im going to have an early night tonight just to catch up.
This Saturday ive booked a little trip for Antony and myself to a little island off the coast of England. Its not like the carribean or anything, but its away for the day, and from what ive been told its really nice. I cant wait..hope the weather sorts its shit out!!
Its been pissing it down for the last 2 days, but they say its going to nice for the May day holiday weekend, so we can only hope.
I saw my loverly Antony last night and we had the best laugh ever. My jaw was aching by the time I got home frem all the joking we had done. He's been working very hard and we are looking forward to our holiday.
My little Ozzy hasn't been to well for a couple of days. I think he has eaten something and its gone through him. Well it looks like it anyway judging by the mess up the garden!!
Its been a good weekend, Ive not done a great deal but Ive spent loads of time with my Antony over the last couple of days. Yesterday morning I met him after his nightshift and we went into town to pay most of our holiday off. After that he went home to bed and I did some jobs and played guitar until Ant text me that he was awake so I popped to see him before work.
This morning he woke me up and we went to a boot fair ( a place where people sell there old shit out of the boot of there cars ).It was heaving there, so many people out so early in the morning. We just had a little look round and then moved on to another bootfair up the road. We brought a little picture frame that Ant saw. He wants to get a picture of us and give it to her for here birthday. Sentimental sod!
Well another eventfull week over and done with. Its been an odd couple of days, Ozzy has been ill so ive been really worried about him, and Lee got hold of me yesterday telling me he tried to kill himself over last weekend. He said that over 3 days he was doing speed balls and taking ketamin, which apparantly is a horse tranqualiser.On top of that he drank 3 litres of vodka and had been awake for 3 days. As you can imagine I really didn't know what to say to him. I sort of managed tp pipe up with " Well that was fucking silly wasn't it" I dont think it was what he was looking for as a responce but there you go. Its certainly not going to get me to go back to him.
Apart from that, its been a fairly good week, Ive seen my Antony lots and we are going really well together. I love him....i really really love him
Its been a great night tonight. Antony and me have been to the late night pub together and have had a really good laugh. I now can feel free to go out and not have to worry if people see me and tell Lee. It feel great..I love it. I feel so positive ( excuse the pun ) at the moment.
I'm going to have a chat with a man that has been H.I.V. positive for 15 years and has felt like I have in the past. The realisation of the tablets, or tablet fatigue as they call it, he's been through it and can help me. Also I have found out from my councillor that there is a poor lad that has just been diagnosed and is in exactly the same situation that i was in last year. She would like me to talk to him if he wants to reasure him that he will be ok. That will help me aswell I think. I like to help others.
Live life to the full people!! But be fucking carefull doing it!!
Ive been listening to a demo CD that my cousin gave me the other day, and its fucking great. Its not my style of music, it's quite mellow...kind of like Ocean Colour Scene, but one of the songs has got some great lyrics to it. It made me think about how I was feeling within my relationship with Lee towards the end. Hopefully I'll get to see them play soon.
Ive been getting better as the days go on. I'm getting used to being single again, but at least things between me and Lee are very good at the moment. I never wanted to completely dissown him, but I could'nt go on in a relationship with him anymore.
My little Antony is fine aswell, we are just seing where things go, were not putting any pressure on ourselves like we haven't done all this time. Its not long until the holiday now. I cant wait for it. I really need a holiday.
I had to go and rescue Antony on Friday night as he was amazingly drunk again. He passed out in the car and didn't say a word. Love him!
Yesterday I went to my uncle's house to play some music with him and my cousins. It was great fun and we played for hours. We did a load of Beatles songs and some general rock and roll stuff. My cousin Antony played us some of his songs that he's written for his band. They are sort of like Ocean Colour Scene and Oasis, but they are really good song's with some good lyrics. It makes me want to pull my finger out and get a band together to do some songs. I might start writting my own about all the stuff Ive gone through the last year. Second thought's, that could get depressing.
