Why do I feel so angry all the time? Yesterday I got so angry that I went dizzy and nearly passed out. It doesn't seem right to me. I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water and be there for everyone else, I'm not dealing with my own problems and its starting to get to me. I feel boxed in. Everyone is telling me they're problems, but no one is listening to mine. I feel like people are deaf to me sometimes. " Oh its Stewart, he's ok, he's always happy " but I'm not. I'm really pissed off with people picking me up and putting me down when it suits them, and I'm pissed off with people expecting me to jump when they say so. Can I have a little time to do what I want to do?
I'm so happy I'm with Antony now, he keeps me sane and on the ground. His little smile is just the best, and I love to see him smile. He's very sweet. Things are going well, but its hard with the hours we work, and the fact that we cant really spend a night together as there isnt the room and my dogs would really fuck with his asthma. Things are going good though, I love him to bits.
Lisa is going to come and see me soon, and we are going to talk about whats happening and how to sort it. I need some direction I think, or just a punch bag. Now there's an idea, I could put one up in the cellar and give that a good hammering when I get the ump.
I'm trying hard to keep my head above water...bear with me people!!!
2 comments:
Ok..Now Stew..DOnt need you getting like this..if you ever need to unload,look for me online and say I need to chat..I am there for u buddy...U need to just make time for yourself..I know it is so hard to do when u try to do for everyone else,but you need your sanity and health as much as everyone else does.
I hope you get over the barrier that's in front of you xx If you need someone to listen I'll do it :-)
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