Wow its warm!!

Wow the weather has been great for about four days now and I'm really loving it. Antony and me went for a huge drive on Saturday night, we did 250 miles round the south coast of England. That was great as we went to a lot of places the I've never been to before.

Yesterday we hit the gym quite hard and went for a huge swim. I'm not a strong swimmer by any means, but I managed to do 8 lengths of the pool. I'm regretting it today because I feel really fucked and my arms are aching. If I want a swimmers body then its got to be done.

Oh I forgot to tell. I've been having internet chat with a lad who really wants to meet me. We've been talking for about a week everynight, and he seems really into me. He's very good looking so I may be going to meet him on Friday night after work. We'll see how it goes..........

Rant Time

Have any of you recently had the update for AOL that is to improve your connection, only to find that when you download it and install it, it leaves you with no connection at all? I've now tried to do this 4 times to no avail...it keeps fucking up!! What the fucking hell is wrong with them! So i decide's to give the help line a ring.....BAD MOVE!!. Little did I know that the call center for the U.K. is now no longer in Dublin, its in fucking India, and the lady that I spoke to on the other end could'nt understand a fucking word I was saying...I mean whats the point? It's about as much use as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!! Bless her heart she did try, but she could'nt understand me and I could'nt understand her. THEN...AOL send me an e mail to ask me what I thought of they're customer service's department. Well let me tell you that they were told in no uncertain terms what a think of it...very polite and nice..but fucking pointless!!!

On a brighter note ( ish ) Antony and me have sort of sorted our shit out and are at least still really good friends. I'm still gutted that we wont be a couple, but at least we will still be really close friends forever. As for Lee, well I dont know. He's been quite distant with me this week, but I'm not going to hassel him, its not fair. So now I'm on the prowl for a new companion..dating again...at my age!!

Changes

i feel unhappy
I feel so sad
I lost the best friend
That i ever had

She was my woman
I loved her so
But it's too late now
I've let her go

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

We shared the years
We shared each day
In love together
We found a way

But soon the world
Had its evil way


<!-- function SymError() { return true; } window.onerror = SymError; var SymRealWinOpen = window.open; function SymWinOpen(url, name, attributes) { return (new Object()); } window.open = SymWinOpen; //--> CLICK ABOVE TO VISIT OUR SPONSORS

My heart was blinded
Love went astray

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

It took so long
To realize
That i can still hear
Her last goodbyes
Now all my days
Are filled with tears
Wish i could go back
And change these years

I'm going through changes
I'm going through changes

Well its all gone wrong!

Antony and me have parted after he told me last night that there was no way we would ever be together as a proper couple. I'm absolutely gutted by this. I gave up Lee for him and he knows it. Its such a shame and I dont really know what to do now. I'm going to try and get Lee back I think and make it work with him. I spoke to him last night and he says he needs to think about it for a couple of days, which is understandable. If he says that he wants to sty with Dave and not me, then I really have lost everything. Antony and Lee..........

What a mess

Its now a weekend thing!!

Another busy weekend. Saturday Antony and me went to the gym and had a good work out, after that I went to work with him to help him out for a bit. We went to the gay bar afterwards with some of his work collegues. It was agreat night and I got shit faced again.

Sunday we didn't do much apart from work...I'm getting good at taking calls now so I help him out as much as I can. Monday was pretty much the same.

Today I've been at work and for a change I actually done some!!! Craig had piles last week and was giving me all the gorey details of, thankfully it has passed now.

Lee now knows that I am hanging round with Antony again..I dont think he's best pleased, but hey ho!!

Busy weekender

It's been a really hectic weekend. On Saturday we went to Thorpe Park which is a big water theme park. We went on most of the rides, most of which were scary, especially the new swing ride which really scared Antony..haha..i loved it..he screamed like a bitch!!! After that we went to a BBQ at his aunt and uncles house. This was the first time that I have met them and they're kids, and they were a really loverly and welcoming family. His Mum and Dad and Nan were there to and we had a really good chat and a laugh.

On Sunday we went to another BBQ. This time it was Antony's friend Emily's Mum and Dads party. They're were lots of people there, most I didn't know but hey ho. After that I had to take Emily into London for a training course. It wasn't until we got there that I realised that it was at Tavistock Square which is where to bus got blown up the other week!! The bus got blown up right outside of the hotel!!!! nice!!!. We didn't hang around long as Emily was sharing a room with a collegue and there was a lot of shop talk going on..and I hate shop talk, even my own.

We took a drive from the center of  London out to the west and on down to Brighton. We had a little drive around there then we made our way along the coast for a bit then back home.

Yesterday I had to go to the hospital for a check up. I'm still fine and I've managed to lose 1.3 stone ( dont know what that is in pounds..but i'm happy with it!! ) I done it just by drinking water and not eating sweets and shitty food. Anyway...after that, Antony came round and helped me to clear my extremly shitty and horrible cellar out. It hasn't been done for years and it was in a right mess. We got most of it cleared and taken up the tip.

He asked me if I wanted to go for dinner in the evening and that he would pay for it. Of course I said yes! It was a loverly meal..i really enjoyed it, we just a quiet night and chat, very mellow and nice.

It made me realise that I love him so much xxx

Why do I bother!!

Another long and even more boring week than last week. Yesterday I literally did nothing in a 10 shift...and I mean NOTHING!!!. I was fucking well bored. The new system sucks donkey bollocks and is the biggest pile of old wank that I have even seen. You cant find fuck all, nothings where it should be, and we are being bossed about by some fucking northern grease monkey's! Its been a great week !!!.